I just wanna hold your hands and never let go......Come walk with me...

2010-04-16T17:43:00.002+08:00

The earth will never stop spinning for anyone. Based on this alone, it has suddenly dawned upon me that life moves on at an incredibly fast pace that sometimes, somethings can be so unexpected and unbelievably interesting. I can't remember when was my last update and even if it seems to be pretty recent, it has been a while ever since I updated. I guess I was just lazy and there was nothing for me to share. Its been a while and lots of things has happened ever since my last post. I got over it. Perhaps all I needed was just the courage to take the step out and realise that there are so many other choices awaiting. I got to know a girl recently, don't ask me who, don't ask me how, but I just got to know this girl. It was pretty random and I must say that at first, I had no confidence, no courage and no belief that we would become friends but well, she was far more sociable than I was, I guess, that made it simpler.

I acknowledge that there was this budding interest I had for her, and it kind of developed a little too quickly for me. I guess I'm so used to plunging into relationships after relationships that I seldom take a step back and think. It was good at first, it felt nice, but subsequently, I was a bit too impatient I guess. Now, things look a bit low, they look a bit on the downside and I constantly blame myself for my stupidity at the way I've handled it. Perhaps if I've given it s little more time, it wouldn't have ended up this way? Life's just like that, there are choices you make that will affect you for the rest of your life..

2010-03-13T15:45:00.002+08:00

I wonder if anyone actually still reads my blog. I don't know what's with this "I wished someone would know and shower some care" mentality but I guess I just wanted to feel like I was still important, some way some how. At the last college class meet up, I met andrea and it was so long before I met her again even though we're in the same school and we're both staying in hall! There were lots to say and I must admit that each time I meet her, she gives me this warm fuzzy feeling, this feeling that tells me that she cares, she really does. I don't know if she cares for me because she used to crush on me or if its just her! I told her how I really felt about this relationship and how this time, the same girl who went through so much with me and gave me so much confidence in myself could actually tear me down and bring me back to the starting line. Andrea said one thing that made me really, really touched. She said, you're a piece of treasure and trust me, you will definitely find a better girl.

That was more than just a word of assurance to me, it made me realised how she has thought of me all this while. And perhaps, there's at least this one girl who actually thinks i'm a piece of treasure after all. 3 months have past for 2010 and it has been 5 months since we broke up. Its been amazing that having thought we couldn't live a day without each other, its already been 5 months. Even up till now, I ask myself before I sleep, "Have I made the right choice in letting her go?". I still cannot come to terms with how someone who keeps telling you that, you have loved her for who she is and not what she is, told you how much she cannot live without you, went through almost all the ups and downs in your 2 years in school could actually leave without a word. Perhaps I'll never understand what she's thinking. One thing for sure, I think she would never regret this decision about ending our relationship. One day when I've moved on and look back at all these, i do hope that I can smile and tell myself that at least I've made an impact in her life.

The school term is coming to an end very soon and once it does, I guess I wouldn't even have the chance to see her anymore. Often, I'd like to sit by the bus window and stare as the scenery pass by and reflect on the things that has happened in my life thus far. I would always ask myself questions about life, fate and all things incomprehensible. You see, we met in 2007 as OG mates and our paths crossed. Took a chance and got together before our paths went parallel again last year. This time I guess, all's up to fate. If only one day, I could understand what "HE" has in plan for me. Life can be a little easier if only I knew how I could make the best out of it. Companionship or love? Its time I figured this out.

2010-02-26T02:26:00.002+08:00

I cannot understand why I am feeling this way when I can choose to let it go and move on with my life. I constantly worry about her and I constantly think of her, I just cannot understand what charm she has on me. I guess it may just be the worry and the fear of not being able to find someone else that will be better than she is, I guess its all the fear of having to go through the entire process of knowing her family and building that familiarity. All of which I have gone through for the past two years have gone to waste. There has been lots of things happening over this past month and life has been so hectic I never really had the time to sit down and think. CNY felt so different this year without grandma around and having lost that her too, it felt all the more pathetic when I went down with a crazy bout of food poisoning on the first night of CNY! I couldn't sleep in peace and I vomited every hourly till my chest hurts like crazy, the diarrhoea got my stomach empty and I spent the next one day sleeping in bed! It was not before long that I realised that I shrunk and became skinnier.

Her messages came asking if I was keen on celebrating cookie's birthday. I planned to mail her cookie's gift and left it that way because I didn't know if I was ready to meet her. I was expecting her not to contact me considering that we've not been talking for a while. But, I eventually said yes to meeting her. I cannot describe how much I missed her and cookie. Don't bother asking if I missed the former more, because I don't know either! The trip was fun and its been a long time I had so much fun running around with cookie and seeing her so happy too. She said she loved the present I got for cookie and she even asked pei pei how I was doing when they meet in the evening for their dance reunion dinner. I wish I knew how she really felt deep down, I wished I could read her mind and know what she's thinking. What is it that god has in store for me? I feel so lost, I feel so depressed. I am not wallowing in self pity but its just sad to know that this person who felt so strongly for you has gone, for good..

Please, please just let me stay strong.......Even if she does find a new guy, let her not be bullied...

2010-01-25T12:05:00.002+08:00

Unbelievably yesterday was the 24th and it felt just like any other day. Even when my roomie asked if I was feeling emo or anything, I was surprised that I wasn't. There are times where I miss her, there are times I asked myself why things could take such a drastic turn and leave me baffled but I guess there are never answers for everything. With that mentality, the only way to convince myself is that when a person changes, he/she changes. 3 months have passed and friends have been urging me to move on, no doubt I haven't exactly been able to leave everything aside and walk on, but I guess I've made a big leap myself. This has been one of my most fulfilling r'ships and I've never thought that it would have taken such a crazy twist close to the end of my life in university. We're still young, no doubts about that and perhaps like how many people will put it, you just haven't met the right one. BUT tell me what makes you think he/she is YOUR right one?? Perhaps its just this thing about myself and even my brother that we want a clear cut answer. Grey areas are just so neither here nor there. I can't wait to see how things unfold in the future......... I just can't wait..

2010-01-21T03:14:00.002+08:00

Been missing for a moment and its already 2010! School has started and it feels totally different now in week 2. I don't know how different it feels to her, but its totally a new experience going to school and not having my phone beeping through lessons or breaks. Its so different to be roaming around north spine and not having to meet her at the south spine. Life takes some getting used to. Met up with her twice and asked her if we could see a second chance together and she rejected me. She seems like a total stranger now and I feel so weird when I see her around. No doubt I still feel for her, I still worry for her but sometimes its just weird knowing all has changed... School term has started and there is suddenly so many things I'm thinking of all at the same time. I wish I could sort them out and clear them one by one. Sometimes I don't even know what's that bloody thought at the back of my mine..... What do I really want?? I am trying to work towards what I want in life. That's what she wanted too when we ended off......HELP ME......

2010-01-08T19:17:00.001+08:00

I just wanted to post this before I forget.....

- a successful relationship requires falling in love many times, always with the same person. Always with the same person, but deeper and deeper every time. Each time on a whole new level you together open in love and discover the truth of your beloved anew. There is no limit to the beauty of your beloved. If you think you've reached the end, stop generalizing.
- you are not to shut love out of your life by saying it is impossible to find and keep. The quickest way to find love is to give love. If you want it too badly, you will not find it. The most secure way to keep love is to give it space and care to grow. If you hold it too tightly, you will lose it.
- there is no such thing as conditional love. Love is either unconditional or it's no love. You might like someone conditional on their personality or behavior or circumstances. But love accepts no boundaries. So never say 'I love you because', for love has no cause, love comes from God.

2009-12-15T11:42:00.002+08:00

The past few days leading up to Sunday were crazy. I guess I really just missed her and needed to meet her badly and I did the unfathomable. I decided to bring cookie out. I knew I missed cookie too but if someone had ever asked if cookie was just an excuse, I would really say I don't know. That's the honest truth. We had long talks on our trip out together and I am pretty glad it wasn't awkward for us. Its just so amazing how much things changes when a couple becomes platonic friends. Where was the love we both shared? Amazing! Nights become exceptionally long when I think of her. It really sucks to know she still means a deal to me. It hurts even more knowing that she has clean forgotten about every single thing about us. No regrets at all? Perhaps I was a plain lousy boyfriend. I just couldn't understand what was wrong with me. Was I even her 1st relationship? It felt more like the other way around. Even after meeting her on Sunday, I couldn't tell if meeting her was the right thing to do. But I know that I was happy to see her then. Everything else didn't matter. Last night, my friends and I went to catchThe Storm Warriors in the evening. I knew I hated the night because it becomes exceptionally long and cold. I started to think of us and I was simply very sad because she could just forget everything and not feel that tinge of sadness. I believe that what I had done for her would suffice for some form of recognition right? In any case, this close friend of mine talked to me on the bus ride home and I finally saw what they meant by saying leading a better life without her. I guess I was just too caught up with so many things or the way they had talked to me about us that I simply did not digest what they had told me the last time around. Today, I will tell myself that I will move on and that what was between us are now just memories I can keep. She will feel the loss and regret one day, and one day she feels that way, I have already moved on..... This time I must learn to love myself first.....

2009-12-12T16:41:00.002+08:00

Happy Holidays? There are so many could have been, so many what ifs but none of what is going through my mind is ever going to work out, isn't it? I have been cramming my schedule with activities every single day so that I won't even have the time to be bothered by anything else. I simply cannot remember what I went through for the past one week and I just cannot help but feel damn tired at this moment. I am simply glad I had the chance to sleep till I wake up, not having to worry about studying or anything else. I ask myself sometimes, what do I want at this moment in my life? I really do not know. I am feeling super random and spontaneous and all I'd like to do now is to have fun and not think of anything else. Seriously, I could have been in Bangkok at this moment had things not unfolded this way. Seriously, I have no idea how things in life can take such a crazy turn. Are there miracles in life? Do I believe in miracles? I simply have no idea. I don't know what I am trying to say, perhaps that tells you the state of mind i am in.... I AM LOST...

2009-12-07T19:59:00.002+08:00

Sometimes I am baffled at how things pan out in life. I couldn't get anyone to go out with me and I ended in hall watching 500 days of summer alone. I know what that I will be typing out is going to be a little random and spontaneous but I just felt like saying how I really feel at this present moment. My brother just called me to ask me to stay in hall because he is booking out at this moment and he is coming over to find me and stay in my hall. It doesn't matter why he is doing that, but all of a sudden I feel so touched. I kinda needed someone to talk to, to really tell someone how I really feel deep inside and I guess I really cannot find someone else to.... i need to stop here...

2009-12-07T17:05:00.002+08:00

Time comes to a standstill whenever you are alone. The dreaded exams have finally concluded for me. The number of people in school has been diminishing exponentially and it felt so dreadful to have to drag your body to school just to study. I guess we all have complaints. I know I should be happy that my exams are over, happy that I can be spending my own time, but well this has all changed isn't it? The moment the speakers went, " You may leave the hall now..." I began to dread this new beginning. The semester has concluded, FINALLY and its been such a roller coaster ride to begin with. Life will never be plain sailing and for the 2 years that it has been so sweet for me, its just the right time for some tough times isn't it? Brother's in camp and parents are out working, I don't want to stay alone at home. My friends have their own partners and I wouldn't want to take up their time too. I don't mean the world to anybody else now, I am just, me.... The moment the lads left the exam hall, everyone started calling their loved ones and guess what, I felt so left out for once. For the first time in school right after exams, I felt so much like a left out kid. Sticking out like a sore thumb! Not that I cannot live without a gf, but I guess, having been so used to having her around for the past 2 years really made my life so much more interesting too. Hsing thye came over a few nights ago and we had the longest talk we ever had since secondary school. You know what, I miss these people! hmm He shared his story with me, told me how he felt after initiating his own break up and how he felt so painful deep within. I guess what he said really made me feel so much better. I am so lost in my own thoughts now...SO much so I really don't know what I am feeling...

2009-12-04T23:24:00.003+08:00

Am I starting to move on already? Or have I gotten past the sad phase? I don't feel the same kind of heart thumping I feel when I look at her profile. Ever since we made it clear a month plus ago, we never really kept in contact. I made it a point not to look at her profile in case the pain lingers on, in case I cannot let go. At this point in time, it feels like I haven't been able to let go too. Out of curiosity, i checked out her profile. It became clear that she changed the names of the albums,deleted some albums and old photos of us. Its clear she wants out.....well my life is in a mess still, I need to find the way out soon!

2009-12-04T03:01:00.003+08:00

Time really flies doesn't it? The last time I had time to sit down and take a breather was when school started way back in August and in another few days time, I would be free from studying from afternoon to dawn. Sounds ridiculous ain't it? I guess I just work better in the night when I am free to let my thoughts wander. Nowadays my playlists are filled with emotional songs that always seem to express how I really feel deep down. Every little thing for the past 2-3 months has been crazy for me and till now, I still ask myself, what was that one thing that changed all that I have painstakingly built up in 2 years. That's how life is isn't it?

LIFE IS A MAZE AND LOVE IS A RIDDLE.. how apt.........

2009-11-24T23:44:00.002+08:00

Been a while since I got myself to write a thing or two. Been caught up with exams and the preparations. My third paper's tomorrow and I just have this bad feeling I've already screwed the last two up! I got this weird feeling in me that I don't know who to tell. After moving on for a while, I realised I started to walk back to that same spot again. Tell me why am I dreaming of her for so many days consecutively? My mind should be filled with lots of information, lots of equation, lots of work but guess what.........ITS JUST EMPTY! Its fucking empty, except for the random thoughts about the past. Been a month since we talked, been a month since we met, been a month since we parted and she has been moving on ever since, left on a fucking jet plane while I'm still stucked at the same spot hoping for miracles and thinking its crazy how things have settled. I hate how I can even think of her when I am fucking doing my 3003 paper! I hate how I can fucking even think of how it used to be when the exams were near.. FUCKING HELL!!!!! FUCK MY LIFE....

2009-10-31T11:57:00.002+08:00

You know you haven't really gotten over her if you keep asking yourself and trying to find out what she is up to every single moment. You know it when you keep thinking that the guy will ask her out and be with her studying together! But what is stopping you from not thinking all these rubbish. That's work! Being occupied and keeping yourself occupied perhaps, will keep you from thinking about the things you shouldn't be thinking of...Quan came over last night and we caught a late-night movie together, poker king. It was supposed to be a comedy, but as usual there is the element of love too. Stephy Tang was definitely sweet looking and just like any other movie, we expect that perfect ending and its fairy tale promises. I wasn't affected, but I asked myself, have I gotten over her? Have I gotten over all the memories we have shared? I couldn't find the answer within myself, but I knew one thing's for sure, I probably wouldn't know how to react if I see her in the arms of that other guy....
Perhaps like how everyone tells me, I haven't met the one of my life yet and that probably is the reason why I haven't found true love. Two times in a row, two times in my life. I realised that giving it all for the things you love and for the ones you love may not always necessary work. Perhaps, we should look ahead and wait, wait for the one to cross paths with me again. Please stop fooling around with me, dear god...........

2009-10-30T05:13:00.002+08:00

Been close to a week since we last contacted each other, the longest by far. Today we had the same elective together and I didn't sit with her because it just didn't feel right. She left straight after class and I thought, well, this way I wouldn't have to risk bumping into her. Then again, thoughts were going through my mind about how I would have reacted if we bumped into each other. I guess we almost did during the break but I walked straight towards the GENTS without looking back. When I was finally done, I walked out only to find her right in front of me. GOSH! I was so relieved we didn't bump into each other, otherwise I would have frozen, not knowing whether to acknowledge her presence or not.
In any case, as soon as class ended, she disappeared amongst the crowd while I was still busy packing up my bag. It didn't matter especially since I wasn't so keen to meet her. I went to the library to put my stuff down before heading to the canteen for dinner with shawn when we saw her sitting alone in front of Old Chang Kee. I murmured to shawn before turning away hastily. To my astonishment! I realised she was actually waiting for him. That guy! Oh well, that moment, I wished I could go up to him and send him reeling from my punches. I wished I could have tested my fists on his face ya know! That moment, my heart felt like a dagger had went right through it. Well, I thought that was an understatement. I felt that my tears were just waiting for the floodgates to be opened. I held it back. The pain was unbearable! They had arranged to meet... Its the last straw. I will not look back until I move on..... Lost it all..... I will not be humbled......='(

2009-10-24T15:45:00.002+08:00

Suddenly it seemed like I am in a lost too. I don't know what I should do and I don't know if I am doing it the right way. We are already separated and its only logical and right to give each other space and see each other less. Its also only right that she is finding it hard to get over it, but it seems like I am the one who's having problems trying to move on. The whole world is urging me to give up hope and to move on, if she turns back, it may be a good thing, but suddenly, I am finding it hard to start moving on. There's this inertia in me, keeping me rooted to the same spot. She seems to be getting over it pretty quickly and perhaps yesterday was just wrong for us to have met! Guess what, we went down to her dance performance only to be disappointed by the stupid organizers for pushing celebrity wang's performance forward and then to cancel the previous intended performance! The funny thing was she decided to join us to chill over at PS Cafe in Dempsey. Guess what! That was the place she wanted to bring me to on our 2nd year anniversary! I didn't know what to feel and I didn't know how to react when they went to meet her, I only knew that my heart was thumping real fast and I was excited yet reluctant to see her! I knew I missed her, I knew I wanted to see her, but I thought i would be sad to see her in a different status.
PS cafe was fun, all I knew was that I didn't look into her eyes. I knew I didn't even looked at her when I talked, I wondered what was going through her mind..... I felt her eyes catching a glimpse of me whenever I talked or whenever I was messaging someone but I was more curious of what went through her mind! I don't know what to do at all, I don't know what to expect, its getting so complicating!!!! She's so special as compared to the rest of the girls I have had, so much so that I feel that she's going to stay in this corner of my heart as the greatest regret of my life....Everything has been so sudden and now, everyone is asking me to move on, to forget and to lead my own life. ENOUGH!!! I am already leading my own life and its nothing wrong for me to think about the past and to reminisce about the happy times isn't it? I am not deluding myself, nor am I trying to live in the past but its all so sudden, I can't expect to pick myself up so quickly isn't it? My heart ain't made of gold, its all blood and flesh, and it hurts to know the one you've loved so dearly is not thinking of you anymore!
I always wished I could live in my own fairytale happily ever after. After the previous girl left, I saw HER. I thought she was innocent, she was simple and all she needed was someone to love her and care for her. I thought she was easily satisfied but I never knew she was eager to always look for the best. I am definitely not the best in terms of looks, and anything else superficial. But, I know that whatever I can do for her, nobody would be able to fill my shoes! I don't know what to feel now, I don't know what I am feeling, I just know I am yearning for her company! God, save me from this craziness.....

Confused and sick of playing games like this....

2009-10-23T11:14:00.002+08:00

When she came along, she gave me a reason to ask myself whatever I'm blogging for. She said that its just weird to tell the world about what is happening to my life and so it seems, this blog became isolated. Its been two years since and I really feel very, very tired having to watch my back every time it happens! I don't know what to feel no and I don't know if I'm feeling sad too. All that i know, is that I am feeling uncomfortable. I don't know what's exactly on my mind, but I simply hate the feeling of waking up day after day, thinking that it was just a dream. Each time I wake up, I will just rush to my mobile and glance at its screen, hoping to see a message from her. Is it a routine? Or is it purely just hope?
We used to send each other messages in the morning all through the day, but this has stopped ever since contemporary took over her life. Its not dying down yet, the trainings, the meetings and more importantly that guy! I cannot understand how he doesn't feel anything! He has thrown his respect for other people right through the window! Just as how I don't know how he knows that she was sick the last time. Perhaps she told him, perhaps he asked, perhaps.........Life is such a tough process sometimes, we face obstacles in our way and we stumble and fall. BUT, I've met with such situations before already! Do I always have to go through this?? I need some love, I need some care. What should I do? What can I do? I need strength to carry on....

How can I tell myself that its time to let go?

2009-10-22T20:40:00.002+08:00

Its not helping that I am all alone in this room all by myself. I am so used to letting my thoughts run wild, so used to crazy thoughts and silly ideas, but I never, never felt so alone before. In another two days time, it would have been our 25th month, if I still had you by my side. I wonder if you will ever remember the date and if you would feel that tinge of sadness about losing this relationship. Note that I no longer say losing me, cos' I thought I don't mean anything to you anymore. I kept reading through my blog, trying to tell myself that just as it ha happened the last time, it has now happened a second time. I am so afraid of falling in love again, of going through the process of building it all up only to find it tumbling down again. I need some confidence desperately. I keep thinking to myself nowadays, where can I find a girl who appreciates me for who I am but not for how I look? I give my all in everything to do, short of making it good enough for my studies and academics, but am I really not driven? I don't think so, see BROADWAY 2009.... Isn't it a good enough indication of my conviction my passion and drive? I don't know why, I don't know what to do anymore, god.... GIVE ME A SIGN....

At the crossroads....

2009-10-22T19:43:00.002+08:00

This can be so crazy, this can be so tiring. Sometimes, I really don't know who to listen to and who to trust. At the back of my mind, I seem to know that she will just leave and run towards him but there will be other times when I will think that she will see the light. In any case, it has been so tiring physically and mentally. She is suffering too and so am I, in no way am I less hurt than she is. It was such a sweet beginning and such a fairytale two years but now its all gone with the wind. Sometimes I cannot understand how she would want to give this all up for a new guy and perhaps, I should have anticipated all these. I knew I would often question myself whenever I see pretty girls, but I knew that looks ain't everything and looking beyond that i had a loving girlfriend, whom I thought really LOVED me. Guess what, it couldn't be any less hurting to hear it for myself and to know that actually the truth is not so fairytale-like. This is life, we are all humans. We want something better for ourselves and it is through this pursuit of perfection that we lose ourselves. Maybe I should be selfish, I should worry about myself and not her anymore, I should move on.... And when I do, I never look back anymore.. That's me.. At least for now, I know, she seemed like giving this all up... Its time to move on my friend...

Its all over...

2009-10-21T13:29:00.002+08:00

Time has taken its toll on me and when you finally realised that she's actually already thinking of another guy, the pain becomes unbearable. Two times in a row, I've been hurt in a relationship just because I gave my all. So it seems that good guys do finish last. Yesterday I decided after sometime that the best way out is for me to walk out of this alone. I've decided to give it up. She can go and find her happiness with him and that I wish them the best. The heart's feeling the pain and its no longer in a piece, the promises we had, the words she said and the presents she make are making it so difficult to put it all to rest. This is love, this is life, complicated and tough. I wished I was still a little boy, I wished I didn't have so much to worry and think about, I wished I was a monk, I wished I never had to fall in love and feel the pain.....
How I wish for a bit of fairness in exchange for all that i've done for her? I am so crushed....

You just can't be prepared for what will follow....

2009-10-12T07:52:00.002+08:00

I always thought that writing was one way of getting things off your chest and just how much it can help to make me feel better. It was simply amazing how I'd thought I'll never be blogging again. Things got a little crazier this time and it took such an unbelievable turn for the bad I just wasn't prepared...If it were so simple, that wouldn't be called "life" anymore ain't it? ,what one of my friend would readily say. But its simply crazy to see the change in a person so drastic, someone I thought would be there for me, now turning a cold shoulder to me, changing into someone I'd never knew existed. Perhaps it was the freedom, the way she finally saw what the opportunities were WITHOUT me and so be it...

I thought my blog would become redundant when she came along. She was so different from the rest but I never knew that this can all change. I thought I turned in at 4 am this morning and was so worried I wouldn't be on time for the 0930 lesson but guess what, I jolted up at 0730 and I just couldn't put my mind to sleep anymore..The things she said kept racing through my mind, the things she did. She didn't mean to hurt me but I don't seem to be the one that causes the ripples in her heart anymore. It seems so hard to make it work anymore. Regrets aplenty, things I could have done to make this all the more memorable, but I just cannot anymore. This feels so tiring, so painful, especially knowing I've got so much in me I don't know who to tell...

Would she wake up? I don't know.. The photos were up yesterday and it seems that his were all titled with so much happiness while for us....I was the only one tagged in it.. No more sweet titles for this man of hers...NOTHING.... The pain is unbearable, I just didn't know how to react but I know my friends will be there for me....I hope this will past and we both emerge stronger, I hope she realises that I've been the one through it for her.. I hope she sees the light and realises through mind, not the heart, I still miss her but i think she doesn't think about me. That's what I think...I need some help....I need to find myself...

2008-02-01T13:45:00.000+08:00

I blog to vent frusration, I blog as an avenue of letting off steam and nowadays I find it silly to get worked up by little things in my life. But it does get especially sad when you see lovers turned friends and good friends turn enemies? Well, I seriously miss the talk about going overseas together, about visiting some nice place where we can go again as a big group, where things will at least be a little less tense. I guess this is what the rest of us are thinking about but are find it a little sensitive a topic to bring up. WELL... This is my blog and I am sure that I can be a little more relaxed on the topics that i want to talk about? Life is like that like many people have told me, there are ups and downs, there are times where you go right to he bottom and know that the only way to go is up. There will be people who are willing to give a helping hand to pull you up and they are called, FRIENDS. Sometimes I ask myself that if I were half as lucky, I would have a few friends who would be there for me when I needed them the most. But well, a lot of us will just say, "Hey! You alright? Call me, I WILL BE THERE...." And when you needed someone to listen to you, so it seems, they were never there.

There is still a long way to go after 21 and so it seems that we should be all grown up to know how we should lead our lives. It can be pretty disappointing to see a friend wasting his/her life away just because she stumbled and fell her worst fall. Different people have different ways of getting over it and if coaxing doesn' t lead you to think twice about pulling yourself up then perhaps something else could. Afterall, we wouldn't want to close this chapter of our lives only to regret or end up laughing a how silly we once were... If we can all climb up slowly, so can each and everyone of you. Its in you....all of you. Don't ever lose yourself or waste yourself away just because of a stumble. We must learn to stand up, men and women alike.....We are all grown ups...

To which, I dedicate this post to everyone who finds its relevance, please.....WAKE UP FROM THIS NIGHTMARE........Friends will be there.....=))

2008-01-28T10:58:00.000+08:00

人的一生会遇到四个人
人的一生会遇到四个人

第一个是自己,
第二个是你最爱的人，
第三个是最爱你的人，
第四个是共度一生的人。

首先会遇到你最爱的人，然后体会到爱的感觉；
因为了解被爱的感觉，所以才能发现最爱你的人；
当你经历过爱人与被爱，学会了爱，才会知道什么是你需要的，也才会找到最适合你，能够相处一辈子的人。
但很悲哀的，在现实生活中，这三个人通常不是同一个人；
你最爱的，往往没有选择你；最爱你的，往往不是你最爱的；
而最长久的，偏偏不是你最爱也不是最爱你的，
只是在最适合的时间出现的那个人。
你，会是别人生命中的第几个人呢？
没有人是故意要变心的，他爱你的时候是真的爱你，可是他不爱你的时候也是真的不爱你了，他爱你的时候没有办法假装不爱你；
同样的，他不爱你的时候也没有办法假装爱你。当一个人不爱你要离开你，你要问自己还爱不爱他，如果你也不爱他了，千万别为了可怜的自尊而不肯离开；
如果你还爱他，你应该会希望他过得幸福快乐，希望他跟真正爱的人在一起，绝不会阻止，你要是阻止他得到真正的幸福，就表示你已经不爱他了，而如果你不爱他，你又有什么资格指责他变心呢？
爱不是占有，你喜欢月亮，不可能把月亮拿下来放在脸盆里，但月亮的光芒仍可照进你的房间。换句话说，你爱一个人，也可以用另一种方式拥有，让爱人成为生命里的永恒回忆，
如果你真爱一个人，就要爱他原来的样子—爱他的好，也爱他的坏：爱他的优点，也爱他的缺点，绝不能因为爱他，就希望他变成自己所希望的样子，万一变不成就不爱他了。真正爱一个人是无法说出原因的，
你只知道无论何时何地、心情好坏，你都希望这个人陪著你；真正的感情是两人能在最艰苦中相守，也就是没有丝毫要求。毕竟，感情必须付出，而不是只想获得；
分开是一种必然的考验，如果你们感情不够稳固，只好认输，真爱是不会变成怨恨的。两人在谈情说爱的时候，最喜欢叫对方发誓，许下承诺我们为什么要对方发誓，就是因为我们不相信对方，我们根本不相信情人，而这些山盟海誓又很不切实际：
海枯石烂、地老天荒，都不能改变我对你的爱! 明知道海不会枯、石不会烂、地不会老、天不会荒；就算会，也活不到那时候。
许下诺言的时候千万注意，不要许下可以实现的诺言，最好是承诺做不到的事，反正做不到的，随便说说也不要紧，请记住：”不可能实现的诺言最动人”
在爱情里，说的是一套，做的是另一套；
讲的人不相信，听的人也不相信。你呢？找到了第几个？茫茫人海中，你遇见了谁？谁又遇见了你

Something I found on a friend's blog, I thought this is really meaningful!

2008-01-09T00:09:00.000+08:00

Its been ages since I last blogged online. Each time I visit my own blog, I will be reminded of updating, but somehow, just like how my girl puts it, "Don't you think it feels weird to be announcing to the world about your life?", it dawned upon me that this has become more than just an avenue of de-stress. What prompted me to add a sudden entry was what I have saw and heard, read and understood. Perhaps I may have misunderstood, but what ever it is I am a little sad and disappointed. Joy, if you happen to be reading this entry, perhaps it may be time you should let your sister amd brother know too. We may be cousins, but we seldom exchange words, I understand that you may have your own reasons as to why it seems so hard for us to communicate, but whatever it is,we all care! You may have converted, you may choose to believe in what you believe in but whatever happens, blood still flows thicker than water. My mum may not like the thought of converting and I truly understand why "Da Yi" and "Yi Zhang" is trying so hard to help the family accept this new faith. Perhaps, it could be better if we talked about other stuffs in life other than just religon. You should know that it takes time for people to accept this new faith, it takes miracles to convince people.

That aside, I have come to know that Joey is mixing with a company of friends not so desirable and perhaps at his age just like me, my brother and chuan have gone through, its normal to be rebellious. But it would be good if he can be more cautious. Its never wrong to make friends as long as he is sensible enough to make RIGHT choices. More importantly, one point you should never FORGET is that WE ARE FAMILY as much as you dislike or loathe us, WE ARE THE ONES who will stand by you no matter what. Friends come and go, you may disagree! BUT REMEMBER, we are there and its for better or for worst, we must learn to stay that way. I hope to see you people more and not just on CHINESE NEW YEAR, don't come to regret taking everything for granted only when things happen. ALL IT TAKES IS FOR YOU TO STEP OUT OF YOUR SHELL, JUST LIKE THE REST OF OUR COUSINS, WE WOULD LOVE TO HAVE YOU HERE.........I bet GOD advocates more than just praying, but family ties too....DO CHERISH......=)

2007-11-12T11:20:00.000+08:00

A few months ago, I asked myself this question. "Do I have any friends close to my heart? Or am I just a poor soul who has no close friends?" Today I ask myself the same question. Perhaps, I am just someone who always wallows in self pity. A friend will never call you a loser, no matter if its a joke or a tease. A friend will stand by the decisions you make and support you when you fall. But probably in the eyes of my friends, I am just someone who finds them when I am down and neglect them whenever I am attached. Yes,I used to neglect my friends, used to be selfish. But when I saw how bad I fell the last time, I was determined to make things change. Believe it or not, I have been trying my best. Did anyone know how much it hurt the previous time when I needed to go out so badly and nobody was free. Turned out they were meeting up less me. Perhaps someone forgot, perhaps they didn't want to disturb me, but then I felt lost. I asked myself if it were really my fault that now my friends elude me.

I am a sentimental person, just as people see me as a very emotional guy. Its all the same. Ever since I joined dragonboat, there are trainings on Mondays, Wednesdays, Saturdays and Sundays. Since I am staying in hall, the rest of the weeks are then spent in hall of course. That will be Tuesdays and Thursdays. Of which, Thursday is my allocated self training day and Friday my rest day. On saturdays and sundays, I have water trainings at Kallang and they often end in the late afternoon. My life now revolves around trainings and more trainings on top of the usual academic work. And that, I enjoy the company of friends it brings. It has never been in my intention to neglect my friends now. Both my friends and gf are equally important. Although she may be a little more important. But one thing is for sure, I will never neglect those that stood by me when I was down. It doesn't matter if you treat me the same way as I do towards you. BUt in any case, you ARE my friend.

2007-10-17T16:56:00.000+08:00

Amaingly my body tells me that I 've had enough sleep and I should just wake up. Will be having my training in another hour's time and I just thought I shall use this little time in between to do some soul searching as usual. My mood has been a tad unpredictable so far and sometimes I have to ask myself what has been driving myself crazy. Many a times I see that little things can piss me off quite badly, just as how Ivan did when it wasn't really that much a boiling point now that I took a step back. My apologies for the foul mood and bad attitude, perhaps I need some counselling now.

I guess I will never be able to understand people sometimes. It is in me or perhaps now, imbued in me that little sense of insecurity. Sometimes, I'd rather be the player in the game. This is random, I just needed to find my own answer. Some things are meant to be and if for a start they ain't they never will be. Its not me being emotional again. I need somewhere quiet to retreat back into........

2007-10-07T22:35:00.000+08:00

Its been sometime since I last visited my own blog and that kind of explains the lack of updating as well. The results are out, I am in the team now. Kind of official already after making it through the inititation on wednesday during the recess week. In my opininon, I thought the initiation was pretty alright since I managed to walk back to my room without having cramps halfway through the route, but I must say that it was really a crazy experience for me, something I will definitely think twice about going through again! In any case, Training proper has started since recess week and with the mounting pressure on me to complete my work and attend trainings, it has been pretty stressful especially since the exams are coming soon in another 1 month or so. But since I have chosen to be in the team, it is only right that I learn to cope with the stress. The one thing I should know is that I am not alone in this, 'cos there are 40 others in the team who probably feels exactly the same way too. My first race will be coming up in another 2 weeks time and its gonna a hell of an experience since I have never been in a competitive dragonboat race before. Lets just hope this will be a positive experience. =)

Aside from my academics and dragon boat trainings, I surely miss my friends too. Isa, Xb, Lin....I think its about time we meet up soon ya? Maybe dinner on a sat or sun night will be good.. Err...I think saturday will be good. In any case, life has been wonderful. Especially since I have managed to sort out my mind whether I should join DB or not and so, I should put my heart into it and not disappoint the people out there who has been supportive all the while. Many of my friends have been asking me how are things, and here's the answer..... Its all fine...Thanks for the concern peeps =D

"Friends are like Peanut Butter ... it sticks to the roof of your mouth .like a friend sticks to you.... and it feels as if they never go away.! Just like the super tough peeeeenut that sticks onto BUTTer....=P"

2007-09-19T02:31:00.000+08:00

Its been a long time I find it hard to express how I really feel inside. The feeling sucks totally and well, its called living up to reality. I have been keeping quiet the whole of today and I just felt like keeping to myself. I badly wanna talk to someone to just let go of my emotions. I should have a control over myself, after all, I am all grown up and I've been through the worst of my 21 years so far, THE NS experience. Living up to reality really just sucks sometimes. I guess I don't need to be reminded that I am not as good looking as my mates or whatsoever. I just want to be an average guy. I don't really care if I am that good looking or if anyone thinks I am not. I am happy the way I am. I just don't like to keep quiet and and act like the whole world owes me something but perhaps, I really, really don't know what can make me feel better.....

Chengjie made me laugh just now and really, he's always making me laugh. He's probably someone who has such an impact on me to become a GL. hmmm..i wish i could pullmyself outta this shithole! crap!

2007-09-16T12:38:00.000+08:00

I simply enjoy terrorizing my seniors, especially Daryl. Is that how you spell it? Daryl! I know you read my blog, so can you just let me know how you actually manage to find your way here! In any case, I went down with the rest of the junior Dragon boaters to the 3rd International SAVA Sprints at the Lower Seletar Reservoir on Saturday. It was the 1st time I have ever been to a Dragon boat race, not to mention, to support my school in the race. It was definitely an eye opener and an interesting experience. Not only did it manage to spur my interest in the sport, it also made me excited about it. But I seriously doubt my chances of getting into dragon boat. The reason being, there are like 35 juniors and according to what the captain has said, only about 20 will be selected to join the team and the rest, rejected... There are many ex-rowers amongst the group of 35 and to top it up, there are many others who are physically stronger than I am. Yes! attitude counts, the mentality counts, but we cannot deny that having a group of already physically well-built and physically stronger paddlers will definitely make the task of 'leveling' them up easier.

And finally, I am feeling much better having rested the whole of last week and missing the trainings, which I believe is going to affect the impression of me amongst the seniors. But if they choose to believe that I am trying to 'siam' training, then there is no way I can change their mentality. In any case, I went to see a doctor on wednesday and I am pretty sure that the doctor is probably gay! He made me sit on the bed and asked me to take off my top. Just as I have lifted it up, I asked again, "Do I have to take the whole thing off?". His answer was a firm yes.

I was pretty puzzled 'cos doctors usually lift your tops to listen to your heartbeats wad, I have never been to one who wants you to take off your top! Well, that was just the beginning.... Next, he made me lie back and asked me if I felt pain in my groin! Well, obviously no, 'cos, only my tonsils are feeling sore and my throat with the occasional headaches thats all. And so, he made me unzip and pressed my pelvic bone, then, he asked again if I felt pain in the groin area. Again, the answer was no. He then asked a casual question, "Are you studying now? What School?". To which I answered, "Yes, NTU!".

Believing that its the end of my consultation, I was about to get dressed with him walking away, he suddenly turned and asked, " Have you had sex b4? Oral Sex?!?" That really scared the shit outta me, 'cos I was feeling rather defenceless with my top off and my shorts unzipped, but good thing, it all ended there and the doc actually told me that I may have had STDs or HIV, hence the questions that follow! I was going....oH....what the..... Seriously, thats like the most memorable incident at the doc's I will ever have. (Pssst....It was my 1st time at the clinic anyways.....)

2007-09-14T10:46:00.000+08:00

Just suddenly had this urge to 'pen' something on my blog before my lecture. School's been pretty hard to cope so far. The tutors sometimes speak 'spanish' or even 'german'. Its been torturing trying to decipher what they are trying to tell us. But nevertheless, friends are always there to back you up. The Continual Assessments are coming up next week and then the long awaited recess week before a mad frenzy for school starts again. That is my life now, a far cry from the mindless 'chiong-ing' and overnight missions in NS, but the kind of stress is definitely different.

On a lighter note, I have been wondering why I always lack that little bit of self confidence to make things happen. Perhaps I've had too many good looking friends around me, or perhaps the way people make remarks about you. There is seriously no way you can control what they think and there is simply no point at all in changing what they think of you. But in any case, I need some serious ego boosting! Its just a thin line between arrogance and being confident. Hmmm..... I need to boost my ego, my self confidence and inflate some pride into myself! LOL....smile smile smile.. Today will be a better day than yesterday!

I am not gay k...! =D

2007-09-13T00:39:00.000+08:00

I was supposed to blog this afternoon when I fell asleep in my room. I have been falling sick ever since school started, on and off. Its not sick as in sickly sick, but just common flu, cold and fever. I was pretty amazed when Daryl told me that he knows my blog address 'cos I've never expected someone from dragon boat to know, not to mention a senior! But in any case, I should clarify, I am perfectly straight and am not gay! I just envy and enjoy looking at cute and good looking guys. I just think that its god's gift that someone can be so good looking and save for the few like us who don't look as good, probably god has something else in store for us too. I am not gay, I am probably more sensitive and sentimental than most guys and that makes me more 'girl', but I prefer to make my feelings known 'cos in any case, I don't see why guys cannot be sensitive.

The number of people turning up for World Lunch is diminishing, but i guess it all takes effort to meet up too. I miss the outings Eski had in the 1st few weeks, I missed staying out and talking on SADM, but i think, this is all part and parcel of moving on. Everyone is just too busy with their own stuffs and now that we are all embarking on a new journey, life in University is something so different that it takes time to get used to.

Perhaps I have done the wrong thing today. I shouldn't have asked you what I have asked. But in any case, I am glad I know what's on your mind. I should sleep already! nites peeps!

2007-09-03T22:02:00.000+08:00

I just realised I actually hit the 'New Post' button while I was waiting for my blog to load. Just had dinner and I am feeling super drowsy already. Today's dragonboat training again and I must say, the seniors are really nice people. Minus the not so nice training stations, the training is really pretty enjoyable sometimes. Although you feel the pain, you find the going tough, butI still remember what zhiyuan told me. This is something he saw while he was running some marathon... Effort is not effort until you feel pain? Is that the correct phrase? In any case, it has to be something along that line. During trainings, there are times where I will ask myself why I actually would put myself through such a painful process, but I guess, when I look back, I would know that at least, I have done something that I can be proud about. It doesn't mean I will definitely be in the team, but at least, I am part of the team! LOL

As much as the heart says go.. The mind tells me that I should stop. I should think about it carefully...

2007-09-01T00:34:00.000+08:00

I was just about to sleep whilst I was pondering some stuffs. I always get myself troubled thinking of some stuffs which are simply irrelevant or some stuffs where I simply won't be able to find the answer. Let us face this one thing that I can't get off my mind all the time. Superficiality! Are we all superficial? Ask me the same question and I will tell you, "Yes! I am superficial!" But it all depends to what extend exactly. I prefer to blog and let myself reflect on all the silly things I think about and of course to vent my frustration or just hoping someone will just lend a listening ear. I know that all my friends are concerned about me! Especially, Xb who's always my blog's avid reader and sometimes, it really warms my heart seeing the tags you guys leave behind.

When I was with my Ex, I used to ask myself, "How can you tell if a couple is compatible?" . The reason being, many people says that I was damn lucky to have been with her, but have anyone ever wondered what defines "lucky to have her"?? Isn't she 'lucky' not to have gotten the typical playboy? Isn't she 'lucky' that I have not played with her feelings?? Isn't she 'lucky' to have gotten me instead of some bastard? What actually defines 'lucky'? To the many people out there, I am 'lucky' simply because she is pretty! So? No offense to anyone, but to the many happy couples out there, it doesn't really matter if he/she is good-looking or pretty enough! Lets stop being critical about how a pretty girl ends up with a not so good-looking or vice versa! The bottom line is, there is no good enough or not good enough for each other! I want to be reminded constantly that it doesn't mean that if you are not good looking, you are not good enough for that girl! Kick my ass whenever I mention that shit again!

Let us learn to appreciate the heart more than just the looks......

-I'm just being emo.....-

2007-08-29T23:27:00.000+08:00

Just got up from the bed. I actually fell asleep some few minutes ago. I guess its the dragonboat training! The 1st training I attended on monday was pretty much a breeze for me and although I did go for training mentally prepared, I guess I am still pretty much rusty after not exercising for so long. Seriously, I have this feeling that I will become super fit if I do get to join DB after all. Apparently, supply is more than demand and they will be observing us through the various trainings and from there the lucky 20 will be selected to join NTU DB officially. I am kinda lazy to move away from my seat probably cos' I'm way too tired to lift my butt off the chair! LOL.

Training was done in a station style, circuit "warm-up" started off with 3 x 18 minute stations comprising the following:

A run outside SRC, effectively rounding SRC, and i think Nayang Valley before we turn back into SRC, to be completed in 18 minutes.

Medicine ball twisting, Left: 2 min 30s, Right: 2 min 30s, Chest passes: 2 min 30s. This will be followed by a 3 min break before we do a 2nd set of the above again. 18 minutes in total.

Pull ups: 8 sets of 10 pull ups each, plus 20 push ups & 20 crunches. All to be completed within 18 min again! LOL

Finally, the gym routine will be as follows, 5 stations of 30 seconds maximum repetitions:

Front Shoulder lifts (I think...)
Upright Row
Forward bend and row
Bicep Curls
Can't Rmb the name~! LOL

I managed to complete training! But that was not without having to endure with a churned stomach that seems ready to throw up and wobbly legs. I really needa start getting myself ito shape. Tired tired tired!.... Well and so it seems, the trainings have actually gotten my mind off some unhappy stuffs. But I am so surprised about what actually kept me going during the training! I must be a self motivated individual!!! LOL..... Nites peeps! <3

Oh and my new nick name is FUJITSU! LOL wahhahahaa....

2007-08-29T14:42:00.000+08:00

Before I start my blogging proper, I think it is only right for me to say that the misunderstanding between me and my friend has already been cleared and it is really nice of him to have emailed me to clear things up! Thanks people! Thank you kwok for being such an understanding person!

I really hate it when my mood swings and I don't really know what's going through my mind. This is so typical of me and so typical of a what they percieve a cancerian to be. Sometimes I don't even know if it is alright to be honest at times. Perhaps sometimes I should just keep to myself still. How does the Yusheng you used to know behaves like? Does he sulks? Does he worry about everything around him? I can't seem to recognise myself anymore. hmmm... I hope that I can just not think about anything now.....

Aint feeling in the right mood.I shall nap awhile first!.

2007-08-24T13:59:00.000+08:00

And so it seems to me that my patience is running thin....I don't know what to say and I don't know how I should put it across to a friend whom I've known for 8 years. I really, really feel damn demoralised. No offense to anyone, but I just needed an outlet to vent my frustration. The story goes like that, I've a friend who has been squatting in my hall ever since term started and initially I was pretty alright with it. After all, we have been friends for so long and it is only more convenient for him to stay back in my room after his trainings right? But now, it seems that my place at the desk is no longer mine. I don't really get to use it when I need it and when I wanna use it, he's at the desk. Yes, remember the point, we're friends and even more so, 8 years of friendship..! I think thats where its hard for me to tell him to keep the place tidy, neat and clean. I know that it is wrong to be so "ngiao", but seriously, I hate to see my place in a mess. I totally cannot study with all the mess and it defeats the purpose of me staying in a hall.

I probably have done some things where some people can't tolerate as well, and i am sure if you let me know, I would try to change. But somehow this is wearing my patience thin. I think my roomie is pretty fine with his presence, but I am not being a total "biatch" by complainin here and being "ngiao". I seriously don't think I am cos after all, I am just asking for my space to be neat and clean. I hate it when people take things for granted and assumes that it is alright to do things w/o asking or at least informing me. It is not like I will say no. But perhaps it would have been better if I were informed beforehand. My room is now in a mess, my table's in a mess, the place is in a mess and worst still its getting dirtier day by day.! Can someone like tell me what to do? I don't need you to pay me rent, I don't need anything...All I am asking for is that I can have my peace back. My neat table and my room neat. I am sorry if through this I have actually pissed anyone off but as of now, I am seriously damn pissed off!

2007-08-23T01:40:00.000+08:00

Feels like I have always known you

And I swear I dreamt about you

All those endless nights I was alone

It's like I've spent forever searching

Now I know that it was worth it

With you it feels like I am finally home

Falling head over heels

Thought I knew how it feels

But with you it's like the first day of my life

'Cuz you leave me speechless when you talk to me

You leave me breathless the way you look at me

You managed to disarm me, my soul is shining through

Can't help but surrender my everything to you

Ohh...

I thought I could resist you

I thought that I was strong

Somehow you were different from what I've known

I didn't see you coming

You took me by surprise and

You stole my heart before I could say no

Falling head over heels

Thought I knew how it feels

But with you it's like the first day of my life

You leave me speechless when you talk to me

You leave me breathless the way you look at me

You manage to disarm me, my soul is shining through

I can't help but surrender, oh, my everything to you

Oh... Oh...

You leave me speechless (the way you smile, the way you touch my face)

You leave me breathless (it's something that you do I can't explain)

I'd run a million miles just to hear you say my name

Baby

You leave me speechless

You leave me breathless (the way you look at me)

You manage to disarm me, my soul is shining through

I can't help but surrender my everything to you

Oh...

2007-08-23T00:49:00.000+08:00

Just got back from Liann's room warming which is happening just opposite my block. Those girls are really serious about doing a room warming and they even had the games ready, the drinks there and nt forgetting the effort they out in to decorate their room! It was really fun getting to know new friends from the other worlds in Sports camp. Sports camp really was worth my time and money! It was worth going to bed at 3am and waking up at 6-7am the next morning expecting even more fun through the tirelessly long but enjoyable day.

Well, school has since started and now I really understand why they say that sports camp will be something you will remember for the rest of your time in NTU. I really don't know what is going through my mind right now. I really am wondering whether I am stupid or just plain dumb. Sometimes, I just keep reminding myself that I should be aware of where I stand and my own limits. (Zhuo ren yao you Zhi zi zi ming!) But sometimes, I just feel that things are not as bad as it seems. I really am confused.......If only I know....what to do....Ughhhh!!!!

Rate me on a scale of 1-10.....IF i fail, don't bother telling mE! LOL

2007-08-20T09:57:00.000+08:00

Just had this sudden urge to post something on my blog. I don't know why, but sometimes, I can be quite random.

I am pretty sure that I am falling sick, or rather, am sick already. I kept waking up in the middle of the night yesterday and I just couldn't fall asleep. Was aching all over and I just felt damn uncomfortable. Thank god there was panadol! If not I would have been writhing all over the place. I swear I have never felt so sick in such a long time already. I gotta go prepare already, lecture's at 1130! Buaiz...

2007-08-19T22:59:00.000+08:00

It has been some 2 weeks into school term and finally I have gotten myself a laptop. At the very least, time in hall will be less boring and definitely that will mean access to internet. Been telling myself to work hard and not to repeat the same old mistakes since secondary school. I have always enjoyed reflecting on my own, thinking about life and about the various things that happen around me. Just like how I will always say that humans are superficial beings, like how girls throw themselves at good looking guys, that is LIFE.

It has been some 9 months ever since I ORD-ed, and whenever I look through the photos I have taken during my active days, I can't help but miss the people around me. The camaradarie amongst my course mates, the crazy fun we had and the crazy things we used to do. I will neve forget how I felt marching on the parade square, never forget how it felt when I threw my peak cap into the air. Not to forget mentioning commissioning ball. Those were the days...
I am amazed at how time flies and how I have managed to cope all these months. Its been some 6 months already and I must say, I have finally gotten over it. I used to think that I will never find someone better, never find someone who can make my heart skip a beat, but perhaps, I am wrong.

I know that you may still be reading my blog, whatever it is, I have never hated you for choosing the path you are taking today. You have chosen what you wanted. No matter what happens in life, I will always support you, as a friend. My best wishes to you girl.....

2007-08-07T11:39:00.000+08:00

I know I haven't been updating ever since I go back from sports camp and I know I seriously haven't had much time catching up with my friends. I am so sorry people. I have been moving in to my hall and have been trying hard to settle down during this first week of school. YES! school has started yesterday and the good thing is, I have no lectures today and that means a sigh of relief from the hectic rush to try and settle down, find the lecture rooms, find my notes and understand the lectures. It is real hard work to be studying after 2 years of narional service. Although some stuffs retains in your mind, but most of the time I really need to think hard and find the link between what I still remember and what is taught but I promised mummy to study hard!

Econs lecture was more than just a torture. The theatre was so cold and the lecturer (Probably from Philippines) was like prounouncing his "R's" so clearly that it really irritates me after a while. AND all the principles of econs are like so random to me. I really have to read up before it all eludes me and I start to regret like how I did for my A's. My hall room is still bare and I think I will need to move my clothes and stuffs in soon! I haven't got my laptop yets and its really super boring in the nights. But the good thing is my roomie will be bringing his TV soon...I really miss sports camp, really miss having no worries, playing and just simply enjoying yourselves. Now school starts and not that there will be no time for fun, but perhaps, past experiences tells me that I have to work doubly hard to catch up with the rest.

Ain't exactly in a good mood now and that probably explains why I am typing in a post with Ivan's laptop. Ivan and Gavin's my toilet mate and Shawn's my roomie. Hmmmz. Perhaps I should just focus on studies....Gonna go get my notes from the library and then go home to pack up more stuffs. Promise to update soon. Ciaos.... =(

2007-07-31T11:02:00.000+08:00

It sure feels weird typing out your blog entry as a 3rd person. Been away for the past 1 week and I am finally back blogging. Sports camp exceeded my expectations totally. I really miss cheering even though I've been coughing every night since I came home and my voice's like gone already, but I sure miss sports camp!!!...

Skool's starting next week and I really did enjoy myself for the whole of sports camp... Bu guan you duo lei wo dou bu jie yi....I will blog more once i return from cleaning my hall room... Love ya all!!

ESKI!!!! I MISS YOU ALL!!!!

2007-07-22T16:21:00.000+08:00

Yet again, the end of the week. Eason never really had the time to upload the pictures from his birthday celebrations and apologies people, Eason also haven't had the time to shop with you guys for his supposedly overdue birthday gifts. It would be good to date him only after sports camp. He went down for his camp brief and bonding session at Millenia walk last evening. I never thought Eason could be so enthusiastic for something he feared so much. Looking damn out of place cheering at Millenia walk. He was even "volunteered" to do cheerleading.. Oh gosh!! Even Ivan and Gavin was pulled out! In any case, Eason realised that as much as people say that looks ain't important...You could see so many heads turning when Ivan walked past. especially the girls...The eyes are like dropping outta the sockets. No kidding. Have you ever seen a girl who intentionally run right in front of a guy and walk past him? Who dare say that only guys are superficial!? Girls discuss about guys too......!

Eason went for the painting of banners at NTU today and is proud to be the group's painter. Not exactly though, cos' everyone painted, but he did the drawing!! wahah...Lets hope he survives sports camp!!!...

Away for the week till camp's over...

Anyways.....i am signing on soon......

2007-07-15T18:08:00.000+08:00

The end of the week is here. A new week will start and away goes all these shit that has been affecting my bloody mood. No particular reference to anything, but my mood in general. Going high and dancing like gays in zouk was fun, eating out at lunch with mummy was sweet and shopping with the guys on saturday was tiring. It has been a long 1st week without a job. Eason couldn't fall asleep on friday night... He ended up tossing and turning on his bed, which included changing his sleeping positions, walking to the living room, finishing a cold glass of milk, reading the papers, before finally returning to bed. Somehow, he still didn't manage to sleep and ended up turning in bed, half awake, half knocked out at 2 a.m. in the morning.

The sad truth is that Eason had to wake up at 0540 hours on a Saturday just so he could travel all the way from Jurong to Tampines to see a certain Doctor Ong. That perhaps rocked rights? Like sleeping at 0200 hours and waking some 3 hours plus later just to take the train and slowly get to the other side of Singapore.... He reached Tampines at 0715 and decided to talk a slow stroll to the bus interchange. Thank god! He had been to there once and managed to find the bus interchange and the correct bus bay with a sigh of relief. (Apparently, for Bus 291, which I was supposed to take, It has two bays!). Poor Eason had to bum along on bus service 291 which took him to Tampines St 83 where he alighted in search of the clinic which wason the other side of the road. Boy! Was he lucky that he managed to find it without much effort, (It was just on the opposite side of the road, right after you walk straight in! LOLz). There he was "number 5" in the queue at 0730 hours! The clinic would only open at 0900 hours, mind you! There he decided against exploring the neighbourhood for a copy of Straits Times which would have otherwise been his best company for the next 2 hours plus or so. Lucky Eason! Just as he placed his bum down on the seats, another 2 others sat down beside him and subsequently in the minutes that followed, a long queue was already snaking at the rear...

The Clinic opened its doors for registrations at about 0850 hours and by 0915 hours, all slots for consultations were taken up and the last 2 patients had to wait till Monday for their consultation. Eason managed to see the doctor at around 1030 hours and was already making his way for home at 1100 hours. He took the bus at the bus stop opposite where he previously alighted and starting to stone in the bus! The stupid thing was that the bus actually made a loop some 5 stops away and steered back to the bus stop where i alighted in the morning. I guess we can't blame a Jurong-ian for doing that can we!? Hahah. The trip to Tampines actually educated dear jurong boy that Tampines is just like Jurong, ITS NOT ULU LA! Its perhaps the next rising estate....In Eason's opinion that is! LOL.....

Eason started his Sunday making his way down to the Guanyin Temple in Bugis to return his prayers for having return safely from Krabi and to seek peace to calm his mind...AFter which, he shopped with dear mummy at Bugis before ending with lunch at Tiong Bahru Market... The long talks that were shared between the mother and son made Eason's day. More importantly, Mummy had actually given him his 2nd birthday card of the year some few days back. Sweet and modern mum ah! LOL.....

Resolutions for next week:

Better Abs
Lift my spirits!

Till then! Love all!!.........

2007-07-13T17:49:00.000+08:00

I think I fulfil all the 10 points of a healthy and nice guy! I mean seriously, I analyzed myself and did some soul searching and realised I'm really a good guy. I even have examples to back me up lehz! wahahaha...

Check out my new songs, bottom left! enjoy!!!

Birthday post coming soon.......xOxOxOxOx

2007-07-13T15:17:00.000+08:00

Good Guys
Many women believe that all the good guys are taken, but you know that’s simply not true. iVillage.com is telling women exactly how to spot a great guy, so you best read on to see what qualities she’s looking for in her dream man.

Finding Mr Right
We all want to find a great guy. But let's face it: How many of your exes seemed fantastic at first, only for you to find out that they were Mr. Wrongs? Well, no more bad boys, mama's boys or anything of the sort! Dr. Bethany Marshall shares her shopping list for a healthy man in this excerpt from her book, Deal Breakers.

1. When you first meet a man, whether it's online, at the grocery store, at a bar, at school or at your job, you should feel that he wants you.
It may be conveyed by a look, a touch, a compliment, curiosity or attention to detail. And it must, within a short amount of time, be conveyed in person -- not online, through a text message or on the phone. And definitely, it should be backed up by his willingness to make a plan and move the relationship forward. If he's not interested enough to call in advance and make a plan, he's not interested enough to invest his emotions in a relationship. Conversely, constant calling, e-mailing and text-messaging is not true contact. He cannot touch you, see you, adore you or get to know you through words on a screen or over the phone.

2. Soon after meeting him, you should discover that he has appropriately achieved in at least one area of his life.
For instance, if he went to college he now has a good job. Or a decent car. If he inherited his parents' business, he has learned how to successfully manage it. Or if he is a member of a baseball team, he has learned to become a team player. His efforts continue to generate new opportunities, new skills, new challenges, or new possessions. Thus, he is progressing and not degenerating.

3. If he's a healthy man, he will never make plans for the future that he does not intend to back up.
And he will certainly not say, “I'm not sure where this relationship is going,” and then continue to call you and have sex with you. He will not send messages that are confusing and difficult to decipher. A healthy man says what he means and means what he says. And the words that he speaks are backed up by action that coincides. Even if he cannot give a guarantee, the relationship is always moving forward. Thus, you will never find yourself drunk-dialing at two in the morning because you fear that he is out with another girl. Or find yourself in a situation where he claims to want to get married , but you are the only one who is planning the wedding and paying for the caterer.

4. If you are in the right relationship, it will feel reciprocal and mutual.
When you offer emotional support, is he appreciative? Does he give back by surprising you with a special little something? Or remembering your favorite drink? Do you feel that what he gives is as valuable and meaningful as what you offer? For instance, if you set aside a Saturday night, will he make an entertainment plan that is enjoyable for both of you? If your car breaks down, will he come and get you? If you have a problem, will he help you? Is he as devoted to you as you are to him? Healthy relationships are based upon mutual give-and-take. And what is given and received should feel of equal value. If the only thing that you are getting out of this relationship is text messages or e-mails, occasional plans or the assurance that you won't be alone on a Saturday night, you are not getting what you need.

5. If he's the right guy for you, he will have good friends and you will like who he is when he's with them.
Whether he's at the bar, at a tailgate party or running for political office, you are confident that he is the man you know and love, both with you or apart from you. When he's out of sight, he does not turn into somebody else. For instance, a player. Or a jerk. Conversely, when you include him with your friends, you know who he will be: charming and engaging, enhancing instead of detracting.

6. If he's a healthy man, he will like you for who you are.
Even if you have a bad day or say something that he does not like, his adoration will remain steady and his view of you will remain the same. Beware of the guy whose perception changes whenever you deviate from his expectations. For instance, you dress a certain way and he refuses to hold you or compliment you. Or you gain weight and he stops having sex with you. Does he take pleasure in you, whether you look sexy in your low-rider jeans or have just gotten out of bed? Does he spend time with your family because he knows that you are a part of them? Is he interested in your spirituality? Or do you feel that you must suppress your personality in order to hold on to his approval? Even when it comes to your sexual preferences, you should feel free to reveal yourself without fear of losing his affection.

7. A healthy man will never view you as unconditionally bad or make you feel terrible about yourself.
Even in the midst of an argument, he will be able to see both the good and the bad in you. For instance, he will not stay mad at you once the argument is over. And he will move on instead of clinging to bad feelings or suspicions. He loves you and sees you as a good person, no matter what. And he would never refuse to call, refuse to be nice, or walk out the door without quickly returning simply because you shared your concerns with him.

8. A healthy man has a learning curve.
For instance, if you tell him that you need more time together or need him to stop doing something that is obnoxious, he will shift his behavior because he loves you and does not want to lose you. He is willing to learn from his mistakes and modify his actions. For instance, if he begins a friendship with a flirtatious girl and you let him know that this is creating a problem, he will be concerned about your feelings and come up with a solution. When you discuss relationship obstacles, he works on them. He would never admit to a substance abuse problem and then refuse to address it. Or agree to appropriately separate from his mother (who dislikes you), but then go running back to the nest.

9. If he is healthy, he will seek his own solutions.
For instance, if he has a problem, he will reach out to others for help, find resources, have a conversation, go to therapy, attend a 12-step program -- anything that will move him closer to making the changes that he needs to make. (You could do worse than give him this book. No, wait -- make him buy his own damn copy!) Petty pride, laziness or stubbornness will not keep him from taking the steps that he needs to take to have a full relationship with you.

10. A healthy man will not try to have power over you.
He won't leave you wondering where he is and what he is doing. Or leave you hanging just to prove a point. Or make you feel that you have to disappear for a few days to recover the power you once had. Even if he has more money, status and power, he will not make you feel that you would be nothing without him. A healthy man is willing to take you into account instead of pushing you away. He is willing to listen, meet your needs, and include you in mutual decision-making. Because you matter, he does not want to have undue influence or control over you. And he can trust that he is loved, even when he is not in charge. When it comes to who takes care of whom, and who makes the decisions, and who gets the last say, he is willing to negotiate (because, really, all of life is a little like Let's Make a Deal).

2007-07-12T12:50:00.000+08:00

I am officially 21 years and 1 day old! Spent the first 24 hours with mummy... Talking about life, walking around Vivo and telling her about the Ted Baker salesgirl... Lunch was at Bosses restaurant, Dim sum 50% off! It was on mum's account and I had a filling, but not so satisfying lunch. The service was pretty poor and the dishes weren't exactly that fantastic, but what's most important is mummy's presence.

It wasn't exactly how I would have expected to celebrate my 21st, but perhaps, being contented is what is most important... I only received 1 card this year and I must say, from someone I have least expected. Its special, at least to me and I really, really wanna thank her! haha....

Hey Eshlyn, thanks for the card yeah. I know it prolly took you only a while, but I really, really appreciate it! Its nice!! AND don't listen to ervin's rubbish if he tells u

2007-07-07T10:42:00.000+08:00

（You are so beautiful to me~~）

在我眼里你永远最美

连你一个微笑也都会让我醉你所谓的幸福我想给

以为手不放开就是痴心绝对

太愚昧难道

笑容没了距离有了快乐也走了

还是真心死了彼此不信任了

终於懂了真的

很想说有你是幸福的

很想说我的心是你的

很想说你真的误解了

很想说你真的忘记了

My Love~

笑容没了距离有了快乐也走了

还是真心死了彼此不信任了

终於懂了真的

很想说有你是幸福的

很想说我的心是你的

很想说你真的误解了

很想说你真的忘记了

很想说会好好疼你的

很想说爱你是自由的

很想说你是否听见了

很想说你真的忘记了

爱了就有坚持理由

别说我会留在路口

不会走

爱你会直到最後

很想说有你是幸福的

很想说我的心是你的

很想说你真的误解了

很想说你真的忘记了

很想说会好好疼你的

很想说爱你是自由的

很想说你是否听见了

很想说我们可不可以

复合

2007-07-06T16:21:00.001+08:00

Am at work right now and i tot i mite as well blog. I have seen most of the photos for the trip, budden I am lazy to download dem into the computer at work place. I am still working in NUS Law and is helping out with one of their conferences again. Today's lunch is Dim sum and one of the dishes, stuffed mushrooms actually made 2 participants throw up. They vomitted quite badly and I was like waiting for the cab with them along the road at the building. It was really a very unglam sight for the 2 ladies, both foreign participants. Worst still, she was wearing a dress when she was squatting by the roadside, vomitting. Being the usual gentlemen, I stood in front of the lady and helped prevent the guys walking up and down from having a clear view of..you know what.....I am such a nice guy sia!! -beams- ahhah But what was more heartwarming was the "Thank you!" that came from her....heez...

My stint at NUS Law is finally coming to an end. Like really finally. I was extended twice and currently am helping out at the Faculty's conference again. I would love to work here again during my break or holidays if given the chance. Nice place, great environment and more importantly very nice people. Especially my first boss, Jake....I am sure I will miss these people.... Definitely.....<3

2007-07-05T16:39:00.000+08:00

Finally, Dehua has uploaded most of the photos we have taken of the trip in Krabi. I shall be waiting for Esmond's photos and then all these memories will be kept in my hard drive! LOL. I have only uploaded some of the photos and if you are interested in viewing more photos, you may wish to drop by Dehua's multiply account at www.dehua0905.multiply.com

Here it goes, Day 1...

A simple meal at Han's, Budget Terminal, before we set off for Krabi...Why is wenyong eye-ing my toast??!!

Don't we all look damn gay? Lets say cheese... =) I think they all love me! LOL.... <3

We're all ready for take-off CAPTAIN!! LOL....

We were caught in a shower when we went into the skies and

Finally we see clearer skies. The storm we were caught in, actually rocked the airplane and like how wenyong will describe it... LP "gui tio"! it was really going up and down when we were trying to fly out of the dark clouds....

Arriving at Krabi International Airport for the very first time....-smiles-

After a short 30min plus bus ride, we arrived at our hotel, La Playa resort in Krabi. This is the lobby. See the guys checking in??

This is how a typical room looks like on the inside. It is only a 3 star hotel and we think it really is a great bargain for something like that!

The room is really very spacious for 2 persons.

The toilet itself is also super big la. The shower head is on the right and the toilet on the right..

This was how we decided who should stay with who for the rest of the 3 days over at Krabi! wahahha......

Having settled our luggage, we went for a short walk around the hotel and here are some of the sights and sounds we saw along the way..

The pancake is a 'must try' for everyone who goes top krabi. basically its just like the prata we eat , just that it is more crispy...

That is a strawberry pancake that we had. Delicious..! >.<

This was followed by dinner at one of the night stalls near the hotel. Something worth mentioning is the mussels we had that night. It was really fresh, soft and tasted sweet and definitely delicious. It is by far the best I have had..Those that we had in S'pore really pales in comparison....

We were pretty determined to get drunk in Krabi, but eventually, the tight schedule and tours we had knocked us out even before the alcohol did! ahhaha

I realised that wenyong is always imitating me.....! wahhaha

This will be the most memorable photo of the Krabi Trip...Wenyong, am i correct?? LOL....-smiles- =D

2007-07-03T22:54:00.000+08:00

Dear readers, my apologies for not updating my blog. But i guess no one actually bothers to read other than Sidney? LOL... Cob webs are forming all over my tag board and no nice soul is willing to just leave some comments to cheer me up! That is so pathetic.. Just got back from the Krabi Trip last night and I promise to update soon when I get the photos from the guys. To sum it all up... An experience of a lifetime...-hint hint wenyong...-

It was really fun hanging out with the guys and of course seeing some familiar faces around Krabi... The beaches were nice, the water's clear, the sun's burning hot and the people warm and friendly.. More importantly, there were a lot of S'poreans in Krabi!

Birthday's coming and I am so not excited... hmm....but I want my presents!!!!!!!!
Beware, a mighty long post is coming your way...Stay tune....

2007-06-23T17:09:00.000+08:00

It became kinda disappointing initially when the turnout of the BBQ wasn't quite what I had expected. In the end, "soccer gang" people made up the majority of the turnout. As much as you have put in effort, some people are just not enthusiastic enough. The people who turned up are as follows, kwok, Tingfeng, Frank, Shawn, Chengxiang, HongYi, Shih Ben, Dehua, Me, Geraldine and Georgina.....As much as the turnout wasn't that great, it really was fun catching up with Horny (who has managed to snag 4 girl's numbers while working at Starbucks) and with Shawn, my roomie to be in NTU. We ended up playing "cai quan" to finish off the beer (Sponsored by Geor) and red wine (Courtesy of Geraldine). In the end, Frank appeared to be pretty high as he kept leaping on my back, asking me to piggy back him.. He ended up piggy back-ing me as well. The remaining 7 guys squeezed into Ben's MPV and he sent each of us back home. The guys became damn excited in the car and started discussing about going to zouk straightaway, or perhaps Frank and Dehua were the only ones who were excited about it...I really missed the crazy laughter we had and the silly jokes we cracked.....I must have a second meet up....!

Went gym-ing this morning before meeting the guys at BB for soccer. I only went in for the 1st match and they decided to leave le. B/c Kwok angry mah! I was pretty pissed at that moment cos' at least I made a point to come no matter how late I was la... and just b/c we lost that one match.... we leave? Wah...Low morale can. On the way to West Mall, Frank kept asking me to bring "my janice" to the beach. And according to him, I have this very close female fren called Janice.. I kept asking him who's janice and he would only say....Dot act ah.. I know one... someone tell me.. she's super hot one. rites..? I've even seen her before. hmm..
So who's Janice? LOLz

2007-06-22T09:44:00.000+08:00

My tagboard has been inactive for a while i guess. Sometimes I just have no time to come online to blog cos' I'm like constantly hitting the gym at night and whenever I reach home, I'd just like to have some time by myself reading the news and/or catching some random shows over the TV. School's starting in another 1 and a half month's time and there are some things i'd like to just sit down and think about. Chatted with Zee about sigining on and the future in signing on. Its been 7 months, thereabouts since I ORD-ed and it is like the first time I am considering a career with the force. We both agree that we will review this consideration after our first semester and see whether we should still pursue this career with the force.

Sometimes when I look back, I still find myself thinking about the days I had in NS. There were a lot of complaining and whining. However, when we find ourselves outta NS and ready to embark on a new journey, we tend to look back and miss the days where we didn't have to worry about passing or failing...But perhaps like how it always is, you will always look back on the previous phase that has just passed in your life and reminisce about the good ol' days...

I accompanied mummy to try out her aerobics class on tuesday! She actually told her instructor I'm coming and since he was looking for a new instructor also, he actually asked my mum if I wanted to learn from him and become his instructor too. When I Reached the fitness centre, I was actually waiting at the couch for the 1st session to end. When it ended, my mummy's instructor came out 1st and when he saw me, he exclaimed damn loudly to the whole class. Saying: "Can! Can! His body can make it. He can be my disciple! LOL". Subsequently, he even made fun of another female student who kept looking at me (according to him). He told the student, " eh! he wear sleeveless only you cannot (tahan) already ah, keep looking! Den i must show you this issit ( rolled up top to reveal abs) ahahahh." Apparently he is quite serious about bringing me in as a new instructor. I've spoken to him and may consider becoming an instructor cos' in any case he will be paying me mah! LOL...

2007-06-19T15:05:00.000+08:00

I loved you from the moment I saw you.To love this much is beautiful, & wonderful,& painful, and the scariest thing in the world, all at the same time

You don't know about real loss because it only occurs when you've loved something more than you love yourself,& I doubt you've ever dared to love anybody that much.

2007-06-16T22:29:00.000+08:00

I've gotten my hair cut shorter this time around. Reminded me of the days where I had to make sure my hair was acceptable. Hair has to be short so that it was acceptable when I don the No. 1 Uniform for Yap's wedding. And yes, My time at NUS has yet again been extended to sometime in early july. I have given up hope to appeal for NUS. Both my bosses tried to help but apparently, the chances are slim. I should just be happy that I've gotten a place in NTU, my choice of course after Architecture, when many others out there scoring better than me ain't gotten any slots in SMU, NUS or NTU. I should be satisfied..Received my matriculation information and the information on the various orientation camps. Haven't decided whether to join one or not, cos' none of my friends are joining.

Today's the final rehearsal for the wedding and it did go on quite well other than the fact that i can't seem to keep in step. My ex cadets and friends had a good laugh whenever i skipped my step to catch the timing. OH MY! I SUCK TERRIBLY! hahah. Many people say that "huen ying shi ai qing the fen mu", which means, marriage is the grave of love, literally.... But the look on the couple's face got me really envious of how blissful they look... Some may say that a military wedding is a complete waste of time, but it seems, to be so special for them.... Blessed are the ones in love, they say. Managed to catch up with my ex cadets and a couple of army friends before we caught a ride in one of the guy's Toyota Rush to the Bay at Marina for their recce of the NDP site. AND the ride was really unforgettable. The car looked like it came out fresh from the MTV show made famous by Xzibit, "Pimp my ride'. Those speakers at the back of the car could seriously rock you out. I could feel my hair stand when it was on the maximum!

But the disappointment was that i could not enter the NDP area cos' I had no camp pass. Even though I knew most of the ppl there. I wished I was part of all these.... Eventually, me and derick caught a drink at the starbucks over at marina square and had a long chat.... before he left to meet his gal.. I'm goin to the beach tmr... the beach!!! LOLZ

till then....

I miss you......! =)

2007-06-14T13:49:00.000+08:00

Work can be so boring and dull when you're working all alone in the office. I miss Kok yi! Was damn bored halfway through work and I decided to watch 'Love actually'. Seriously, I kinda liked how the movie brought across the meaning of Love and how different couples handled it. Here is a little review I got from www.imdb.com

"The movie is a series of vignettes about several different people that seemingly have no connection to one another, although by the end the connections are finally all present and accounted for. There's a fair amount of subtle satire and a generous portion of irony; the characters are quite human and often don't do the right thing. I was caught off-guard by the incredibly successful results of the trip to America, but I laughed pretty hard and decided I wouldn't have written the script any other way. Not everyone ends up getting what they want, but then again that's love, er, actually. Nice little film."

I saw something on a friend's blog which I thought made a lot of sense. Sometimes we should learn how to love and then appreciate being loved...

If someone loves you, love them back unconditionally, not only because they love you,but also because they are teaching you to love and open your heart and eyes to little things.

I am not your typical bad boy, not your 'oh-so-cool' and slick guy. I am not a sissy. I am just more sentimental than normal guys...

2007-06-11T20:05:00.000+08:00

My job as a Project Secretary at NUS, Faculty of Law has just concluded last week. One of the managers decided to extend my time at the faculty so I could help updating its database for some other course. My 2 assistants have left their jobs and while one has went on to become a property agent, the other is awaiting enlistment. Our professor, the overall in charge of the course (WTO Regional Trade Policy Course) has decided to give the team a treat as a way of giving thanks to the team for the outstanding effort (mentioned by the participants and WTO Representatives) over the past 3 months. This has been my best job thus far, feeling very much appreciated by the bosses and working with friendly people who are more than willing to go the extra mile to help you.

The lunch appointment was fixed at The Regent Hotel, which apparently was the place where our commissioning ball was held some 2 years back. The hotel brought back memories of the commissioning ball and others which are better kept in the corners of my heart. We ordered assorted dim sum, crab meat fried rice, some noodles and of course dessert for each one of us. It was really nice to be able to sit around with the team to chat and laugh over the silly things through the course, especially so when it has always been tough "fire-fight" every single day. Lunch ended with the two bosses promising another treat after our dear commando has enlisted, so that he can better appreciate the good food he is missing out in the army...

As usual, went gyming on saturday since kwok and co. could not make it for soccer on saturday morning. Ah bee suggested tanning in the pool since it was a saturday and since we were both free in the afternoon. The only INTERESTING thing that caught my attention that afternoon was this young couple who were 'having fun' at the jacuzzi pools. They are probably only 14/15 only and guess wad, the young gal was dressed in a "oh-so-small" bikini and was moving up and down the guys lap. I call that....'humping'. In case you can't understand, what that 'humping' basically meant was that the guy's lap is the young gals' i-gallop. This was all done in clear view of young kids and grown adults. That is what I call....'excitement'.

Was supposed to go dragon-boating with ah bee on sunday morning, but i decided to play safe since I had a wedding rehearsal to attend at 3pm that day. As a result, I went for soccer instead. God dammit...! The sun wasn't really nice to my poor face and as a result of that, I went home looking like a boiled prawn. I then rushed down to Shenton way with my sword for the rehearsal. The wedding is getting me damn excited! And if he calls me to form up his 'xiong di dang' , I will definitely volunteer! The most exciting part has to be the sword bearers forcing the bride and groom to do some forfeit. Oh my my my.......Exciting... hmmz..

I'm so looking forward to sentosa next sunday, the wedding on the 24th and my krabi trip..... Quick Quick.. I need a break....!! =)

2007-06-09T10:28:00.000+08:00

oh fark man! I am so thinking about the appealing now! fark fark fark!

2007-06-09T10:11:00.000+08:00

Been some 5 days since I last updated. Didn't really have the time and sometimes don't see what I should blog about. There are so many things going through my mind now and sometimes don't you wish you never grew up? When we were all much younger, there was this desire to grow up more quickly, turn 18 faster, get to do more things and get to have that freedom everybody wanted, but now it seems. With age, there is more to it than just fun and all....there is something called responsibility. Responsibility seems to be a big word...The first time I really understood what that meant was in the course of my active duties as a NSF officer. Everybody wants to be tagged an officer, but what came along with that tag were responsibilities and even more responsibilities.
I could have changed the lives of 3 young gentlemen during the course of their training if not for that bit of luck they had. They were lucky and so was I....

I can't help but feel damn SIAN! My mum's grumbling about the online appeal for NUS cos' I didn't even cared about it and now its like closed!! Cos' I know even if I had tried, it wouldn't have made much of a difference. FARK! Why do you want to make me re-think about my decision when I have started to get settled about getting into NTU! haiiz.. This sucks totallY!

2007-06-04T11:46:00.000+08:00

Ho Ho....Been sometime since I last updated aye.. Did anyone missed me? Work's almost done at NUS and well, the course ended on the 30th of May. We're only left with like clearing up and I will be leaving my job. Anytime soon I guess. I need a job badly! NUS has rejected me and over the past few days, I have more or less settled with staying in NTU instead.

Met Patsy for dinner on Friday night which was kinda impromptu. Had dinner at pepper lunch and we ended up having a chat just outside the library. Good thing we didnt go into the library...CUZ PATSY.... WE would have been shooed out!! *Boo!

Went to the Mayday's concert at the Max Pavilion @ Expo on Saturday. That was like my 1st ever concert and WOW!!! I seriously enjoyed myself jumping and singing! It got damn freaking high towards the end and I swear I am gonna so go for their next concert here...

Met up with Lin, xb, von, minyee and the rest of the guys for D'Marquee @ downtown east on Sunday. Thank You Von! For the front row seats.... The show wasn't exactly fantastic but the laser effects were wonderful... Now, lets look forward to Sentosa either on the 16th/ 17th......AND Krabi.....

Love you peeps!!

2007-05-27T00:25:00.000+08:00

Its been ages since I last went to town and Xinyi asked me to accompany her to town today to shop! Met up with Xinyi, Lin and Dehua in town at 2. First stop was at Tangs, FCUK. That was where we saw Julian Hee also. He's damn good looking. Like I always say. Good looking ppl are those who's facial appearance stands out amongst the crowd and he does! Next was Isetan, Topman at Lido...This was where Lin and Xinyi picked a shirt and insisted I try it on and show them how it looks on me. Both girls agreed that it looks good on me and Lin even tried to touch my chests... BAD Lin...! Under the influence of Xinyi, I got it..It was really nice and would be a suitable shirt for my closing ceremony on the 30th May next week. Dehua got himself a new belt from Topman as well...Next, we went to GAP at Wisma where Xinyi caught her CUTE guy again..Dehua and me went to ALDO b4 meeting the girls at Forever 21 again.

Dehua was about to leave when he realised that the Topman bag he was holding is mine and he had lost his belt.! As much as he tried to be calm, we could all tell he was worried about his new belt. We searched the shops we went to and finally found it at ALDO.. Lucky you! After Dehua left, I took over the rest of the shopping bags from him. Then, me and the 2 girls carried on shopping at Mphosis Takashimaya. It was so damn crowded I had to join the gang of "boy friends" outside the shop. As I was stoning at the people walkig past me, I saw Shawn & his girl walking past. As much as I wanted to say hi, I just stood rooted hoping he would turn. Guess wad! He did! The reason was 'coz his gal said, "Look that guy so pitiful carry so many things and waiting outside." And that guy was me! LOLZ. The reward for being such a pleasant gentlemen was....." Yusheng, ni jin tian zui shuai le!" , courtesy of the 2 girls...

Lin left subsequently and we had dinner at Pepper Lunch...Had an eventful talk with Xinyi..We then left and walked to PS. Xinyi suggested going into La Senza and so I duly accompanied her. She was telling me the "small one" very cute and so I said...."of course cute mah, small mah..." Anything that is small will be cute ain't it? LOLZ.... After which, Xinyi left for her mahjong session while I went on to meet mum and bro at Bugis..

Had dinner again at Sketches Pasta and Wine Bar and mum asked me to pay the bill under my UOB card. That aside. The food was average, but the desserts looked nice...
On the bus ride home....I saw the lanterns bearing wishes hanging on the streets of Chinatown. Apparently, there is to be some Vesak Day festival soon. The wishes reminded me of those I had written some few months back at the Esplanade.....Will they come true still...........

2007-05-27T00:13:00.000+08:00

As I was trying to unload my "cakes" into the "bowl" in my parent's restroom last night, I suddenly heard my grandma shouting for me. In a mad scramble, I reached for my shorts and rushed to the door. Someone was BANGING hard on the door...For once, I almost felt like tearing that idiot up for trying so hard to bring my door down. I opened the door and discovered to my surprise, a group of firemen waiting at my doorstep. The very 1st question was..." IS your house on fire?"..."No....Do you wanna come in and take a look" , I offered. He stepped in and did a check in the kitchen... No signs of fire at all. Just as I ushered the 1st guy out, the 2nd fireman stepped in...." IS your house on fire?".."No...?!" was my reply. I stood at the door staring at the firefighters, trying to make sense of what was "bogus" fire report...Finally, this 3rd guy asked..." Are you cooking anything...?". "No...not at all..." was my reply. This seemed to have concluded the incident and I left my house after the firefighters started packing up their equipments. By now, the crowd has already gathered all over, some through their windows, others around my block... Dumb isn't it? haahah......

2007-05-25T12:00:00.000+08:00

Here's the lyrics for the song, Waiting by Boa.... I know its a long, long ago song.. bUt its nice!

oo ri uhl ma man in ga yo cham oh raen shi gan ee heul ruht neh yo
wae ja ggoo nae mang ee ah peun guhn ji
wae keu ri ah ppa ha na yahok shi ra do him deun il ee ssuht na yo
wae ah moo mal ha ji ahn hat na yo

* ji geum in deh keu dae ah pin deh mal hae yo
ha neun deh na eui ma eum eul oh raen shi gan keu dae reul hyang han kil uht duhn
ki da rim eul ba bo kat jyohang sang keu raet jyo keu rae ya haet jyo
keu dael wi hae suh sa rang hae yo
yuh juhn hee kam sa hae yo
wae nal jab ji an hat na yo
wae ah moo guht do moot ji an hat na yo
keu dae uhb neun nae ga gwaen chan heul guht kat na yo

* repeat

na ahl go ee ssuh yo
nae ga keu dae eh geh ma ji mak han ga ji hae jool soo eet neun guh shi ee byuhl bboon ee ra neun guht
ee jeh suh ya kkae dal eun na eui mo ja ran sa rang eul yong suh hae jwo yo
sa rang hae yo yuh jun hee kam sa hae yo
sa rang hae yo ee mal ee ha go ship uht jyo

I was in, the hardest of times,
Then you came along, oh my love,
But where are you now? What did I say?
I was in, the saddest of times,Oh, what should I do, I miss you so,
Where are you, my love, I want you now,
Where are you now? I miss you like mad,
What can I do, you make me feel sad,
Honestly, love, you’re sent from above,
Kindly and loving, are you,
I am so bad; I miss what we had,
My heart will die, without you my love,
I love you so, Oh I love so, so bad,

When I love, I give it my heart,
But, you didn’t want to push it that fast,
But, with you, I gave you, my all,
Chatting with me, I love your sweet voice,
But now you are gone, with out a sound,
Honestly, love, you’re sent from above,
Kindly and loving, are you,
I am so bad; I miss what we had,
My heart will die, without you, my love,
I love you so, Oh I love so, so bad,

Now, how can I go-on,
Without you in my life,
My girl, my love, you will always be in my heart,
You will be in my heart,
Honestly, love, you’re sent from above,
My heart will die, without you, my love,
I love you so, Oh I love so, so bad,
I love you so, Oh I love so, so bad

2007-05-24T22:11:00.000+08:00

Different guys look out for different things in a girl. So what's the very first thing you ever notice in a girl? Her eyes, her legs....or.....something else? After some discussion with Monica, I realised that what I look for in a girl is how she behaves.... I need a girly girl. A feminine girl.......And that is why I can never resist a ballet dancer. Ballerinas or dancers are graceful people, they give me this..."I am so cultured" feeling each time I see one on the streets. Just on the way home, I saw 2! When the bus passed Crown Centre in Bt Timah, this St Marg's girl boarded the bus. She had her hair all bun-ed up and she has this, "I'm a ballerina" look on her face la.. And, there's also some dance or ballet academy at Crown Centre, So i concluded that she is a ballerina! BUT, seriously, have you ever noticed how a ballerina sits or walks? Sometimes, or rather some of them sit like a guy and walks like a guy can! And that St Marg's girl sat beside another passenger on the bus. And since she was sitting beside her aisle, she prepped her right leg on the aisle as if its on pointe ( Ain't sure if i spelt it correctly, it simply means to point her toes on the ground like how u see in ballet). She was sitting in such an awkward manner that the HCI guys in the front were shaking their heads. Hmmm. But still, they give me this nice feeling about gracefulness and all.

The second ballerina I saw was this little girl with her mummy. She was still in her leotard (Think its how you spell it, its the ballet costume). I always find little girls like her cute and lovely! I don't know why, but in future, if ever I have a daughter, I will make sure she learns ballet! And my son.......wah! Learn swimming like me lor...can la har.....LOLZ

In the gym today, I learnt an important lesson from Ah Bee. That is, if you wanna ask for a girl's no. in the gym, must talk to her 1st, then teach her how to use the equipment, then.........you ask...And so, Ah Bee said I was "ben ben de", dunno how to date a girl and all, but I made him eat his words in the end.

Ah bee is interested in some girl from his dragon boat team and has been msging her lately. The catch is, he says he only think she's cute but don't like her....BUT, he won't even keep his phone while we were gym-ing la. What is that suppose to mean?
So I told him, the trick is to maintain an open conversation. I told him to keep his phone and only msg her after the gym session telling her he was gym-ing so didn't reply and start a new convo with her. And so, after gym, this was her msg to Ah Bee....

Girl: Okies. So you have a good night ahead kz. Gd night!
Ah Bee: Sorry, I was gym-ing so din reply you. har?? you sleep so early de meh?

I told him to reply this way so as to keep the conversation open. Cuz. Who sleeps so early man? And if she din wanna respond, she wud either don't reply or just say yeah, gonna sleep now. Either way, you don't come across as desperate.
And so the reply of the girl was.....

Girl: No la. I said gd night so you could either choose to say gd night and end the conversation too or reply someth silly like that.

That seriously stumped me. She's sucha smart girl can!! I mean.... Tell me how on earth are you gonna answer that when she's hit the spot! I will be thinkin hard tonight! LOLZ.. nites.....

2007-05-23T20:48:00.000+08:00

Ah bee fell sick again, probably due to him being excessively bored and the over-usage of his pistol and bullets. As a result, gym training had to be cancelled and I decided to go for a long overdue run with mummy last night. I led the warm up round and then i told mummy to carry on at own time own target pace. This was then followed by a series of abs exercise in a desperate attempt to cut the fat and trim the flabs.

I am desperate! Bloody desperate now! I lost my office key! For some reason, I just can't seem to make sense of where i lost it. I kept it in my bag, in the zipper compartment, so how the hell do you lost it man? Bloody Suay la!

But.....on a brighter note, I finally watched 200 pounds beauty today in the office. The movie made me tear and i mean having tears welling up in my eyes. 男儿有泪不轻谈，只是未触伤心处！It was a really touching at many points in the show and now i really understand why my brother liked the soundtrack so much! Kim ah joong has such beautiful eyes that literally melted my heart. Especially so when you look straight into her eyes... Lovely lass.....I will post some fotos of her really soon... In the meantime, let me go jogging first...

2007-05-22T19:43:00.001+08:00

I read The Sunday Times and I saw an interesting article that was about guys using eye liner. I was pretty amused by the article cos I had wanted to try that too. But perhaps I wun be able to carry it off ehh... Or perhaps we can all try it one day ah? Hows it? Lin, bin, xy......anyone got a liner to spare??? hahaha

I've decided to cut the article out...Eye liner's the 'in' thing now ...Get Kohl....

Feeling damn bored on a Sunday afternoon, I suggested baking cookies and zoom....I just suddenly got into the bake some cookies mood. Here we go...
First you add in the flour, the butter, the favouring and you mix either manually or with the help of the mixer..
Next, you get an assistant like my dear cousin who's sitting beside me to help you hold the bowl while you mix the mixture....
Put them in the tray like little 'ball' like dough mixture and leave them to bake in the oven till they turn golden brown...
Before you lay them out on your plates, always do a quality check. Make sure they look golden brown.... Here we have one nice tray of lovely Famous Eason's cookies...

Lay them out in a container or a tupperware where you can store them and have them whenever the craving comes... Here you go, Famous Eason's Cookies.

I brought cookies to office on Monday and everyone's pleasantly surprised that Eason bakes... Beneath that 'chiong, chiong, chiong' face and dreaded blond locks of an Ah beng lies a pleasant modern new age guy who's sensitive enough to bake cookies. Some of my colleagues even doubted the fact that the cookies were baked by me. But more importantly, there were good reviews about the cookies I've made and Kok yi has also named them, Famous eason's cookies.

Cookies aside, I also helped out in the preparation of dinner on sunday, maybe you should try my grilled chicken and 'zhao pai tofu' (didnt turn out as expected! wahahha) sometime... lolz...

2007-05-22T19:31:00.000+08:00

The biggest disappointment today was that i failed a 'common sense' test. I failed my basic theory test today. I was damn nervous for the test for some blardy reason and the last time I ever felt that way was on my commissioning day! In any case, it was super 'malu' cos the FAILED word was on the screen for like god knows how long and I guess the girl beside me must have laughed her ass off! The conclusion is, I should have been more safe with my answers. Always must slow down AND stop, never 'gei kiang' like me, maintain speed. The moment I left the centre, I rang my mum and the only thing I heard from her was, "SEE! Ask you study, you don't wanna study, now waste money, waste time...blah blah blah." I was really damn disappointed can, even though I was laughing at the mere fact that I failed something so simple. The words of encouragement only came in the form of an sms after a very brief conversation that ended with me like hanging up on her.

If that wasn't pathetic enough, it started raining out of the blue and I was stucked in the bus stop opposite my office! The damn thing is that I will have to walk up the slope, past the CCAB Soccer Field, up across the tennis courts, and run towards LKY SPP building before I get shelter. I desperately needed an umbrella but asking to share one with a gal was totally outta the question cos who's gonna share one with a 'not so good looking' guy? LOLZ. The best thing was that when i stepped outta the shelter and was ready to get drenched in the rain, the rain just magically stopped. Wonderful!

2007-05-18T22:49:00.000+08:00

I went to Far East to get a haircut on Thursday with Yongcheng. AND this time I really got it cut!! I usually will only trim my hair when I say I'm getting a haircut, but this time, buttock itchy lor! I decided to try this other hair saloon which according to Yongcheng, is very meticulous and indeed, I spent an hour plus inside just getting my haircut! They were like looking for ants in my hair or something la.. The worst thing now is that I look like a BUTCH can. I merely told the stylist.. "Hi, my cheekbone very high so must keep my hair this length, the rest you can be creative.........." and that was the result of it all...

Hmm.....I so like Jessica Liew's character in the 9pm show every night lor. If I ever have a gf like her....My goodness....Her kind of hair.. Those eyes....and the way she loves her hubby!!!!! Wo de mah ya!!!! Bless me with a girl like her dear god........ heez.

Now on to more serious stuffs. News tonight mentioned that in the latest survey or someth, NTU grads are getting jobs earlier and getting better paid than their other counterparts from other varsities. The report mentioned that more than 90% of the grads last year got their jobs within 4 months after graduation with the starting pay at the average of $2700 monthly. Citing accountants and business grads as the more "hot" stuffs and more in demand......hmmz.... SO..........NTU doesn't sound like a bad choice though. Yongcheng told me ystd that his bro got into NUS Architecture. His score, C, C,B... Hmmm.. I was brooding over it because I never even had the chance to be granted an interview and that was what I really, really wanted. A pity...hmmz. But mummy said she will support me to continue pursuing my dreams in designing after I complete graduate studies.... Cheers to a better tml.....

Nites ppL!

2007-05-18T11:15:00.000+08:00

I've finished watching Letters from Iwo Jima. Perhaps by the end of May, I would have tonnes of movies and drama serials in my hard drive! The movie was great, in comparison to Flags of our Fathers. It was pretty straight forward, emotional and heart wrenching. Not to the extend that you will feel tears running down your cheeks, but for me, I could relate to the story probably because of NS? Especially coping with the fact that they were fighting the war and fighting to stay alive for their loved ones back on Mainland. The main takeaway I had was this, "Do the right thing, because it is right..." Cheesy as it may seem to be for you, but for me, it means a lot...The last time I heard this, it came from my OC while we were on all fours in FBO....To do the right thing.....

Rushed to Boon Lay shopping centre after work to meet up with Yongcheng, Dehua, Wenyong and Kok Liang. The damn journey from Bukit Timah to Boon Lay took me like an hour and fifteen minutes? The central idea of this meet up was to decide where we will be going in june/july just before we all get enrolled in NTU. Apparently I have given up hope that NUS will even reply to my application.

The decision so far is to stick to a cruise that takes us to Redang Island, spend the 2 nights there at the beach, snorkelling and perhaps, beach bumming before we take the dreaded 9 hour plus bus ride back to home. Just as we have confirmed the trip with the agency, Dehua suddenly mentioned about going to Krabi, Thailand. We asked for the cost and apparently, that will save us approximately $120 if we took up the Krabi trip. That was when we all became unsettled. That $120 will be converted to Thai Bhat and.....That was a big factor. Hahahaha... yOu should have seen how we started to look unsettled and all. Super funnY!

I am working only half day today because the participants are all not in, the bosses are away and there's no point for us to just sit in here and waste my day away. Gonna leave in a while...Enjoy ur weekends ppL!!!!!

2007-05-15T22:35:00.001+08:00

Have most of you read the report on the Hwa Chong Instituition boy who punched the bus driver? I seriously think that the teen was trying to be a hero la. All that for saying it was an accident and that he could not control his temper? C'mon, if he had slit the bus driver's throat b'cuz he is 17 and that b'cuz he lost his temper......What do you call that? An accident? CRAP! So what if you were from a good school and that you need to uphold the image of your school? It is all in your upbringing....

You have a mouth, you could ask, you could have talked to the driver. So what if he had been rude to you? Do you punch your teacher just b'cuz he is rude to you?
The public are saying that sometimes i meet rude drivers too. No doubt abt that cuz I have had similar experiences. But do you always expect ppl in the customer service sector to always smile and say i'm sorry when they're not at fault? Why don't you become one and let me screw you upside down? I am seriously disgusted by this teen.... CHILDISH! ..........Talent in the making?? hmmz....i doubt...........

2007-05-15T11:06:00.000+08:00

Saturday
Met up with vannessa on saturday afternoon at vivocity and we went up to the "play pool" at the top of the shopping mall and the ever 18 y.o. requested to play in the pool. But since I was in shoes, i declined and she left her bag and slippers with me before running into the pool playing with the kids! Seriously............. LOLZ.. We then stood around the area with a fantastic view of sentosa and had a lil chat....There you could see loads of couples living in their own world la....

When we walking past this lil bridal fair at harbourfront centre , the 'xiao jie' asked us if we wanna take bridal photos la and at that moment the stupid vannessa had to break out in a horrible laughter can! According to her, I must have looked damn old such that they actually asked us to take bridal photos.....you idiot!

Then we met up with yongcheng at Chinatown and had dinner together at the pearl centre hawker centre, a pity the very nice yong tau foo store was closed!! Was like damn tired by the time i reached home prolly b'cuz of the marathon chat I had with vannessa the night before...AND she still complained it was my fault can.. She kept on talkin until she decided she was tired at 4 in the morning!

The view we got standing at the top of vivocity.....

There's Vannessa....in a desperate attempt to cover her face from my lens..LOLZ

Sunday
Sunday was mother's day and for me, it was also my brother's birthday. Both mummy and didi received a red packet from me and of course a treat. I am so broke now la... But as long as they are happy, I feel appreciated...heeez... Had dinner at Alexandra Village and perhaps, I may consider treating my family to the dinner buffet at UIC building, Shenton way, when my next pay check comes in...Oops... another big hole in my pocket...

Monday
The most significant event has to be lunch at Adam's road. When i was in the queue to get sugarcane juice with my female colleague, jasmine (she's working temporary during her uni holidays), the uncle called out loudly. "来！帅哥，你要喝什么??" and as i was about to answer him, jasmine suddenly started laughing damn loudly. Then the uncle asked, "做什么? 他是帅啊! 不帅 meh? 我不可能看错得. 要不然我带他去问这里的人lor......"

By now I was already like damn paiseh la and jasmine cannot stop laughing. It was only after everything that she said, "Actually i agree with the uncle la, but I can't believe the uncle actually said that la." When I told vannessa what happened, guess what she said...She said, "Uncle praise you, you also happy ah? Must pretty gal praise you then happy de mah...." DEMORALISING LA!

2007-05-11T17:47:00.000+08:00

I was kinda feeling bored and was browsing through the photos on dehua's account when i decided to upload a few of the fotos i really liked.. cuz got me mah! wahahaha kiddin....

Von's birthday....dehua, Xinyi, wenyong who's the only one who crossed his legs and made me sit like some demure gal! ......then there's me and xb!
The four guys at a desperate attempt to look cute... hees.... -peace-
me and kwocks! heez.
Frank, Dehua and me...
As requested by the photographer, the guys were made to sit and look cool.....hahah but in the end she laughed her arse off cuz she said we looked like beggars!!!!

Till then loyal readers.........Off to Kbox with my participants......work work....!

2007-05-10T11:44:00.000+08:00

Each time someone celebrates his birthday, we get to go clubbing. LOL. Finally, Dehua is 21!! The next on the list will be ME! lolz... Clubbing was fun yesterday even though I could never catch the Mambo steps. YC's 2 female friends were fun loving and they really, really made me laugh my ass off fooling around with kok liang. They even claimed to be twins la, and apparently they are TWINS!!

We got high pretty early, or was it just me? In any case, The long island tea already was strong for me even though we shared and then we ordered 'apple shooters' (shots) and 'sex on the beach' (shots too). I really was a lil high that I almost send a trashy message to a fren! hahahh...But I was aware of what I was doing, just a lil high and prolly trying hard not to float when I walked to the toilet! lol.. I seriously had gr8 fun and am looking forward to the next outinG!! heez..

2007-05-09T16:13:00.000+08:00

I just came back from the ccab indoor courts, caught the volleyball match between HCJC & VJC, PJC & AJC and part of SAJC & NYJC. Saw coach and Mdm chan in the courts and they both rmbs me! heez. They asked how I was doing and the usual stuffs la. I also saw zhi gang and yang yang, who made it a point to support the Pj gals. I so miss Vball and JC days! Ughhh! It brings back memories of wild cheering, training and all those friendships formed in the process....

That aside, I must say, there are quite a number of pretty gals in vball ah...hmmz...LOLz... kidding....lest I kenna "Hen tum" again....=X

2007-05-09T15:59:00.000+08:00

Happy birthday to you, happy birthday to you, happy birthday to DEHUA........HAPPY B'DAY TO YOU. Arhhhh.... 21 old le arh, and you will still 21st for a long long way to come rites, you year, year 21 de mah (Literal translation)...Amazingly, it has been 8 good years, sometimes there were misunderstandings, but most of the time, you have been inspirational! Especially in JC. Thank you!!!

Hopefully you had a great surprise yesterday nites when we all turned up to wish you happy birthday with a pandan cake. EH! Xb was so nice to have organised it know! Must go thank her lehz...and of course..to weilin, minyee, xinyi who drove us there, wenyong...eng sim and ME! You should be damn happy to have such a group of sweet female frenz hor!

Xinyi! Do you know that after you told me that you dreamt of me......I had another dream that was related! I got into a fight sia! wahahah....great imagination leh!

2007-05-08T11:38:00.000+08:00

This is one of my favourite songs. I simply love those lyrics... Enjoy ppl!

2007-05-06T10:28:00.000+08:00

I am so damn burnt after the soccer ystd! hmmz. As usual, soccer ended late in the afternoon before I joined kwocks, TF, cX for pool at Lot 1. I was already falling asleep at the pool table when they insisted that we must finish the game.! I look so roasted now la, red and painful! Next time i must use sunblock LOR!

Dehua's birthday celebration took place on friday, at THE CENTRAL's Waraku restaurant. The food was great at a reasonable price and the view of the S'pore River from the restaurant was wonderful. The only bad thing is that it is alwiz filled with ppl queue-ing to get in! hmmz. The cake was exactly wad dehua wanted. Rites? got biscuit de wor. haha hmmz. The birthday dinner was also a perfect gathering with the people I have missed after so long. Lin kept saying she wanted to touch my chests while SOMEONE just literally grabbed mine la. Not very big mah, why you all keep saying its very big? haha just that perhaps I've become more fit liddat only mah. Not big la!! But more importantly, we are all glad that dehua had a fun time today and had a wonderful b'day celebration....

Here are some fotos.....

Thats the view from my seat. Nice lehz. SuuUUuuper romantic ah.
Chengxiang's Chicken Curry Don...
Frank's Salmon wadever...carn rmb le....
My Ten Don.....very nice. rated.....8/10
Dehua's chicken don......nice!! waha

The birthday boy smiling sheepishly with his birthday cake....

The Gauche Birthday cake we got for dehua....touched??
hah...scandalous ah........LOLZ

2007-05-03T21:46:00.000+08:00

I got to meet my darling today again!! The more I look at her, the more i think she's damn hot and pretty! ahahah i'm meeting her next week again prolly on tues or wed... OMG i can't wait.. haha missing her sia! wo shi ai ni de lor!! LOLZ.

Work has been pretty mundane recently and me and kok yi has started getting hooked on movies! hahah. Till date, we have watched, 300, The hostel and Tenacious D, Pick of destiny. Then again, today we managed to catch 2 more movies, The Devil Wears Prada and Saw III. I kinda like The Devil Wears Prada. I rmb a fren telling me the plot and how nice and relevant it was to the girls around us. Hmmm. It was really very touching, at least for me, when the couple seperated....... I'm so looking forward to Music and Lyrics tml...!

We decided to try the new western food stall at the canteen today, at least apart from chicken rice, there is some sort of variety there. LOLz. Had Penne with turkey bits carbonara and shared a Thai Chicken Pizza with kok yi...We live to eat, thats wad he says... haha and finally after waiting for 2 weeks, my salary has finally been credited! Hoorah!!

Thats my office, right at the end of the corridor...
Here's another picture of the corridor...
My Penne with turkey bits carbonara. Price: $3.50, The taste, not very creamy, the turkey bits really is a lil bit only la, somemore is ham liddat de. But in comparison to the food over at Law Faculty Canteen.......Deserves 7/10
The Thai Chicken Pizza that we shared, Price:$12.00, The taste: Not very fantastic, the chicken are like totally minced, no taste of cheese or tomato sauce.....hmmz..
barely passed the test. 5.5/10

2007-05-02T22:09:00.000+08:00

My mum asked me a ridiculously crazy question at breakfast this morning! "sheng ah! Your dad say hor, every night you say you go spa (he meant gym, my mum said, but he doesn't know the difference) hor is bluff one lehz, he said dehua bring you to look for prostitutes lehz." I was like damn shocked lah...I mean, the 1st part about the spa already sounds damn sleazy and then say I go look for prostitutes! Wad the... Then my mum said, "Then your dad say you always asking to eat eggs when you come home wad." WO DE TIAN AH...... Eggs, got protein mah, protein can aid in muscle growth de wad!! Hahaha... so insulting lor! and dehua, sorry ah, you anyhow kenna drag into the picture! wahahaha...

My boss drove us to Tiong Bahru market for lunch and I had the most sinful lunch ever. The main course was roasted duck rice with roast meat and 'guan chang', followed by 'chwee kueh' shared amongst 4 of us, followed by 1 'feng huang dan' and 1 'har gao' from the Tiong Bahru Pau store. Last of all, Longan Chin Chow for dessert! muahhah..Here are some photos...

My roasted duck rice, too much ingredients le, must put on a seperate plate from the rice. Famous de lor. Got a lotta celebrities' photos all over the shop. Not very nice though, the meat a lil cold le. But good service from the boss, a smiley face! Thumbs up!
Thats the 'feng huang dan' that I had, NICE!!! The foto dot seem nice cuz I only rmbed to take the foto ater biting into it. Filled with half and egg and chicken, nice taste! Thumbs up!
Thats wad I found in my Chin Chow. So cute rites? wahahha.. Dot anyhow think!

Okies, Lets end off here with a foto i took on Labour day, took it in X square at Paragon. Dehua wanted to get a shirt de, so i just tried lor. BUT, the shoulders fit, the chest there like wanna explode le! hahah den weilin said.. see la...gym somemore..next time cannot wear shirt. hmmm...=X

I'm still contemplating if I should get the shirt.... should I?? I must unbutton till the 3rd button leh, if not really look like c cup lor..! hahah

2007-05-01T21:42:00.000+08:00

I decided to update my blog on Monday, but halfway through, i closed the entire window and then i decided to do it some other day. I went to the Supreme Court with both my bosses on Friday after work and did some planning for the coming closing dinner. Have anyone ever been up in the viewing gallery at the new Supreme Court, which they call the spaceship.. Its super nice! You get to catch a view of the Esplanade, part of the Bay, the whole of Clarke Quay and part of Boat Quay I think. It is really a breathtaking view. A pity cameras are not allowed in the gallery. I'm so gonna snap some shots on the night of the closing ceremony. !

Time really flies, I was looking at the past entries of my blog and I realised that, soon, my tenure at NUS is coming to an end. Followed by 2 trips to Lang Tengah Beach in Malaysia and Krabi in Thailand in June and July respectively, before matriculation takes place and finally, study, study, study!

Dehua's birthday is coming and thanks to B.O.B, he has gotten himself a Tissot Watch which we hope will always remind him of us.! hmmmz. We shall see him enjoying himself on his b'day celebration this friday at THE CENTRAL and definitely, more fotos for all to see. That reminds me of my birthday. Dehua alwiz tells me that, "urs is coming soon too leh. start planning le!" hmmz.. dot even feel like celebrating lor. hmmm... Nvm la.. dream bout it tonites!!

2007-04-25T18:55:00.000+08:00

I applied for half day's leave to catch the SYF Central Judging for Dance today at the University Cultural Centre in NUS today and I must say that its pretty professionally done. I managed to catch SAJC, TJC, TPJC, PJC, RJC, NYJC, MI and MJC in action. RJC really impressed me with their dance item that had the combination of the past vs present concept and of course their props. The way they stacked their chairs in the background created another different scene for their dance halfway through. Not that I can really appreciate the choreography, but whats most important in "ARTS", be it performing arts or visual arts, you bring the audience to see what you want them to see and feel the way you want them to.

In comparison, MJC was one of the more coordinated groups. In a dance piece, the choreographer usually wants to create patterns and visual effects. This, when coordinated nicely will give the audience a pleasant feeling. AND I must say, MJC was pretty neat in their display of their item. YA LA... You have done well girl, here's a pat on your back! -Pats-

*The above comments are solely from the author's point of view*

I was also badly pissed when my colleague called me up telling me that I did not inform one of my bosses that I was leaving in the afternoon. The fact is, I did! AND I clearly remember her telling me, "Hey Eason, I need you on Wednesday morning, can you leave in the afternoon instead?" If that wasn't enough, she actually said I did not finish my work before I leave. BUT the fact is, I printed out the notes she needed and left them on her table THIS MORNING! I even saw her handing out and she even told me, "Eason, can you please get paper clips for the participants to clip their notes?" HOW CAN NOT PISSED OFF SIA! But at the very least, my immediate superior helped me clarify the whole issue with her and when i apologised to my immediate superior. He actually said, never mind la, its not your fault, no need to say sorry, hope it didn't spoil your mood. SEE! NICE RIGHTS!

READ THE FINE PRINTS DUDES/DUDETTES:
MAN UTD 3 - 2 AC MILAN, ROONEY SCORES LAST GASP WINNER
HAIL THE DEVILS....GLORY, GLORY MAN UTD!!

2007-04-21T12:28:00.000+08:00

I went to a club for the 3rd time last nites. I'm serious, that was my 3rd! We were supposed to be going to Butterfactory along Robertson Quay...buts...the story goes like that:
3 guys were walking along the Singapore River finding Butterfactory. It is said that if you enter b4 10pm, the charges were only $15 . AND so, you could expect the jubilation when they manage to find it at 9.55pm sharp. Just as the 3 guys were handing over their IDs for a check, 1 of them muttered, don't i look 18 to you. Thats when the lady said, entry is for 23 and above only. I'm sorry guys!..... MALU can~ hahha

The 3 guys then met up with 3 other guys and after much debate, the gang of 6 decided to head for MOS. MOS had free entry and kudos to YC for bringing the noobs around the place for an orientation. They then made their way to Smoove and tried damn hard to squeeze into the crowd in the cage. If you are seriously uncomfortable with squeezing among ppl, den dot club. HA! hmmm and then it all started from there. 6 gays on the dance floor dancing amongst themselves. But the main event of the day only started when the head of the group arrived, dehua!! That was when the group was split up with dehua, kok liang and Yc looking for their regular dose of fun with noob wenyong, leaving me, esmond and eng sim dancing amongst ourselves.

To cut the story short, it was fun even thou I was nicknamed the "monk" for the nites. LOLZ but hor, got gals throw themselves at me de hor. I was waiting at the entrance of the cage when this grp of gals came in and the last gal actually came and gyrated me.. ahah and...she's pretty de! hahah. but sorry ah... 'm still noobs to this. hahah...

After getting rejected entry at Butterfactory, I decided to take a moment to capture this scene...nice mah?

.Esmond with Eng sim.

MOS, time check, 4.15am hmmmz.. Taken after we decided it was time to say buh-byes....

2007-04-20T19:23:00.000+08:00

Zhiyuan, its simply amazing how you can see through me. Sometimes, i dot know wad to say. Perhaps no one really knows me well enough. Everyone thinks that Yusheng's the 'happy-go-lucky', optimistic, 'tian ta xia lai dang bei gai' kind of guy. But perhaps, beyond all that, there's somebody totally different. Emotional, Sentimental.....a perfectionist? hmmm....

2007-04-20T19:05:00.000+08:00

I fell sick. The doctor said the tonsils were swollen and I had a fever. I didn't really feel feverish and decided to go back to work ystd afternoon. But I felt really, really restless in the afternoon and I just kept falling asleep on the desk. Doc says there should be no exercising and mum says thats cos' the virus may attack the heart... Ooh Mama mee ah....

Today we went to Adam's Rd for lunch and yet again, Daniel doesnt believe that I've only been to a club twice.! ahah and Kok yi kept saying..."YA!! You've been to the club twice only since u turned 21 rite...b4 that muz have been so many times..."

I should wear specs, remove my studs and look innocent....ahaha

2007-04-18T09:11:00.000+08:00

Mummy's angry with me cos' she's worried. But there's no call for worries. My tonsils on the left is slightly swollen since monday and mummy wanted me to catch the doc last night, but i have refused, telling her i wanna be jogging instead. Sometimes, you just wished you could lie at the benches and fall asleep looking at the stars.

I started to think and reflect as i stared into the sky last nites. I missed NS terribly, I can't figure why. I felt the same way when i was looking through the little book we made at the end of the course. It reminded me of training, of camps, of commissioning parade and the ball. I can't say how much i missed training in camp and all. Seriously, I wished I had more commitment back then, I wished I had put in more. My boss had this belief in me, he knew that I had the potential, but to make sure I show it, he said it needed something to crush me....But it never happened then. Maybe, I just needed to set the priorities right and set the sail in the correct direction. I was lookin at the photos of the commissioning ball for my last batch of trainees which was held at the jewel box. That was perhaps one day I really missed, I stared at the card they'd made for me and the appreciations they had for me.....I really thought I could have given more to them. Perhaps.........If only I could turn back time...

2007-04-16T23:25:00.000+08:00

I looked at myself in the mirror today as i bathed. Bored like nothing, i used the shampoo and styled my hair back. I look so much like a gal!!! Sucha pity that I'm a guy. I would make sucha pretty gf! HA! Seems like I may be having a new assistant, one's leaving for greener pastures and it seems that a GAL may take his place instead. WELL.......-beams- LOLZ.

My LEFT kept twitching. and my left jaw keeps having this...-i'm so gonna cramp up feeling- SHIT! Mabbe I'm gonna get a stroke!! hmmz...

2007-04-15T22:15:00.000+08:00

I've changed my phone. The old one was causing a lot of problems and the photos inside simply changed colours by itself. Especially the ones i liked. Oh crap! But that gave me the chance to delete everything inside and get a new phone. The amazing thing is I can't seem to delete that FOLDER!! And I simply don't get it cos' I've already deleted all the msges. Point is, I got a new phone. LOLZ.... It leaves me with no choice but to delete everything inside. NO MORE EXCUSES!

Went to my aunt's place today and helped out with the cooking. Mummy made me cut the apricots for the salad and help in the salad making. Then she made me peel the shells for the quail's eggs. This was followed by 'Muah Chee' making! That has to be the most fun part of the day. I kneaded the dough and fried it before dipping it in Peanut gratings. LOLz... My couzzies helped in the making and serious, I've never had so much fun in preparing dinner.! I then helped to start the fire for the soup and cooked the rice. LOLz. Seriously, I am so gonna make sure my gal cooks with me some day. That will be so much fun eh.. who wants a BF who can cook, there's one for hire! lolz........

Salad in the making..I don't know why but the colour looked really nice, especially the cranberries in red...
Thats my mummy cutting the honeydew into cubes, she says she's not pretty now. Cannot take the face. LOLZ
Thats my Couzzie, Sean kneading the dough for the muah chee. It was really simple.
Here we go....The Muah CHee done....All photos courtesy of my K800i. hhaha

2007-04-14T10:12:00.000+08:00

I am god damn tired and i don't even feel like lifting my fingers. Monica says I'm crazy cos i gym 4 days a week. Monica says good thing I'm not her bf cos I will neglect her cos i gym too much. Craziness. haha.. I am bored.... damn tired....I dreamt thati got commissioned again. hhaha. weird dreams.... tired tired tired....

2007-04-13T21:53:00.000+08:00

I think my ear's rotting, the pus have stopped oozing out but its still painful. Work was mundane except for calling up 10 different hotels trying to book a room for an overseas trainer. The reply you get, "I'm sorry sir, we're fully booked for the month of April......." Like c'mon.....all the hotels are full? hmmmz.. The news didn't go down really well with the boss, but being the nice man he always have been, he said....today's Friday the 13th you remember.? hahahha...... Doesn't really mean anything to me, either way.

I saw this colleague in the other office today, her back looks familliar, her hair, the way she dresses.....But....I don't even know her.....hmmmz....

2007-04-12T22:04:00.000+08:00

Ah bee says that i shouldn't donate blood b'cos I'm taking supplements, he says I will be a bad donor. But, its not as if I'm donating something else. Oh wells. I've completed season 2 of Prison Break and i badly need the season finale to be out really soon.

There was this smell, so familliar, so sweet....But it seems like its been a long time ago..

2007-04-11T22:25:00.000+08:00

Was talking to Sid when he told me that I am real weird cuz sometimes i sound happy and sometimes I get all tangled up in my emotions. Boy!! Don't get the wrong idea ya, I was just talking bout it and saying how i really feel about it all. I am fine now. Serious. Really fine. Not kidding. No qualms no nothing. Just Myself. Thanks for asking Sid.. Seriously, I am getting on fine. =)

2007-04-11T22:12:00.000+08:00

UEFA Champions League: Quarterfinals - 2nd Leg

Final - Old Trafford

Man Utd

7 - 1

Roma

Michael Carrick (11)
Alan Smith (17)
Wayne Rooney (19)
Cristiano Ronaldo (44)
Cristiano Ronaldo (49)
Michael Carrick (60)
Patrice Evra (81)

Daniele De Rossi (69)

Agg: 8 - 3

The scoreline says it all. It was all worth the stay up to catch them in action. Fantastic, Fabulous, Sheer class. Chelsea was lucky and well, the truth is that there may be an all england finals.

Work ain't that tiring once you find the right way to relax when you should, just like how I've come to realize that I'm seriously into this prison break thing. Ha!! Got my hair trimmed today and will be getting it seriously shaven when it comes to june, cuz I gotta get my head in that peak cap for Yap's wedding.... Time to sleep........Nites..

2007-04-10T22:21:00.000+08:00

Seriously, don't even try to piss me off sometimes cuz I realized that I'm getting short tempered...I was on the way home on the bus when this ah neh decided to board the bus and sit behind me. I am already trying to get myself as comfortable as possible considering there is a 'blardy hump' under my feet. That ah neh chose to prep his legs up and pushed my seat forward. You know the feeling of having a pair of legs behind your back. It sucks totally can. It lasted for the rest of my journey ever since he came on board and i really wanted to test my fist on his blardy face sia. IDIOT!

Side note, Prison Break is addictive. Scolfeld's sucha hot guy and seriously, I sometimes envy him.. He's hot mah.

2007-04-09T23:29:00.000+08:00

We walk along in life and find that along the way we stumble and sometimes we fall. I have never tot that i would have fallen this hard before. I have always tot that after 3 failed ones, i would have had grown to understand that there can never be forever and happily ever after unless she's the one for you. I always tot that i wouldn't have put in my everything, I'd tot that I would be wary of this thing called -love-.. But when she came into my life, i tot that i have found someone who has loved me for who I am, for how I am and for how I love my girl.....My failed relationships taught me something, I can be too good, too nice and people, more often than not thinks that you have no backbone, "bu shi nan ren". But now i know, girls need something more than just being nice to them....hmmz..... I don't need no one to tell me who's right or wrong anymore. I know for myself and all i want is for this to be an amiable ending. Regrets aplenty but I know that in time to come, I know for sure that I have given the best of me and my feelings.

I've paid for these in full sum of my tears, my broken heart and my feelings....All i need now, is for myself to find back what I've lost and for all that I've lost, I want them back!

I have not lost in anyway, but I have gained more.....far more than i could have when i was with you.....

2007-04-08T19:13:00.000+08:00

Been a long time since i sat down and had a decent session blogging. I used to think that things are in control and that I am in control, but sometimes, in life, I must say that you can't control what happens. It was a rather painful lesson learned and till this day, I am still asking myself the same question, the same question that keeps me thinking of what I want in my life. I spoke to zhiyuan on this and he agrees with me that he has the same question about himself but well...it doesn't matter if I have an answer for myself. It does not matter at all. Not anymore.

I have seen for myself the successful stories of many and the failed ones aplenty, sometimes, you can't really determine what's what. Am I making sense at all? I am looking forward, not backtracking, but many a time, my heart skips a beat whenever I see things i shouldn't even be bothered to look at. Now life holds a whole new meaning for me, for me to find out what I really, really want. Its 'friendship'....myself, my family. Having 'fallen from grace', i realized that all of a sudden, I am all alone, with no close friends, no nothing. I also realized that no one can promise forever, nothing guarantees forever anymore. How do you profess your love? Just by saying 'I love you' or by saying..... 'forever'? Its something so much more than that. Seriously, it means more than that few words.

I am myself, and i will not allow myself to fall...Screw this shit!

2007-04-06T20:35:00.000+08:00

Happy Birthday...weiLin and Minyee. So sorry, i kinda missed the celebration portion but well, i did join you guys at ritz carlton. I'm so sorry babes.....hmmz..Ritz carlton's sucha nice place and of course, it was really nice spending the nites with the 4 gals and the 5 other guys in the hotel room...hoped it was nice for you guys cuz i realli enjoyed the company and meeting up...hmmmz...

met up with my army colleagues just b4 going for Lin and Min's birthday....and wow.. i miss those peeps..those crazy sabo-ing in the office and the laughter that alwiz throws me off the chair. ahha i miss those days..i had my buddy i cud cry at and my buddy to talk to...anytime in the nites...hmmmz..buddy...miss u!! haha. received a plaque and testimonial from boss and that kinda summed up the time i had with these crazy peeps....

Beach!! ahah went beachin today and i enjoyed it totally... LMAO totally with the vballers..we scrutinized, we suan-ed and we had fun...haha more importantly, i'm a hundred bucks poorer cuz i gt that pair of jeans i wanted from zara......argghhhh.....i needa control badly! ahhah...... ciaoz

2007-04-02T21:40:00.000+08:00

hmmz..great! feeling wonderful.. hmmz.. i know im a typical cancerian because my mood fluctuates, because my mood is unpredictable..hmmmz. i din talk much today and was really, really super tired b'cuz i slept at 430am last nites...more importantly, prison break is 'hen hao kan' lor. now i really hooked onto it.ahha gym was postponed today and as usual, on my bus trip home, i was thinkin of stuffs.. and den i heard jay zhou's-ting ma ma de hua. it was supposed to be a very happy song, but i cried....i teared and i realli, realli regretted neglecting my mum...my family...I carn say how close i am with her some 2 years back before NS, but at that one moment, i decided to message my mum and tell her, i've disappointed her. i've alwiz been darn emo when it comes to my r'ships and since the 1st, she has alwiz worried bout how i would handle things. no matter how grown up we are, our parents will alwiz think we're still young kids.. hmmz. and so.....at the moment, i decided, "我要活得更开心、快乐！..."

after dinner, mummy had a lengthy talk with me and i could tell how much she wanted to hear me out and be my best fren. i am relli, relli touched. each time i say someth nice to her, i will cry...cuz i know she cares the most for me...believe me...i'm over this...i am....i may reminisce....but i am no longer holding on....

要爱别人之前要懂得好好爱自己！

2007-04-02T09:34:00.001+08:00

我已不再想信爱情。有些人觉得我这样很幼稚，很愚昧。因为爱情并不能够当饭吃！但当你置身为我想一想时，我的心可是肉做的！为了她而苦乐自己，为了她我放弃了友情。为了让她开心我不惜一切，但得到的是无比的伤害。难道我就不想放弃吗? 难道让自己堕落我开心吗? 一边打这字，我一边流着泪。他们在一起了！我崩溃了。。。

我输了！彻底输了！我是傻的、笨的！看到他们那么甜蜜的开始，看到她心里的那个他已成了另一个人，看到她忘了自己的记念热，我的心也慢慢的死了。。

2007-04-01T23:01:00.000+08:00

Finally went out for some shopping in ages. I saw that bag i'm gonna get from esprit. I saw that jeans from zara..! and of course my pink & red polo tee from gap...wahahha...budden..it will add up to...

bag- $99.90
jeans- $99.00
Tee- $?

hahah....so much! ahah i needa work more, earn more and save more. Finally got my brown-green praias from NUM today and had a sumptuous dinner with dehua, jas and wy at maxwell. Been great fun shopping from 2 onwards and we were being such idiots counting the number of "big ponies" we see on our way and comparing how many frens we see in orchard...haha the winner is me la.. haha of course!! lol..walking along orchard, to the cathay, den to chinatown.....realli.....made me feel a lil "bu zhi zai" but...the gr8 company really made me feel so good!......

i'm friggin tired...i'm gonna turn in le..
nites...!!

fotos will come soon.....

2007-03-30T21:56:00.000+08:00

"Pang Kang-ed" early today cuz the participants had some study trips to the industrial parks. Left campus at 1430hrs, went home to pick up my extra peak cap for Yap. A fren who's getting married and i'm gonna be his sword bearer. coolios...lolz. gym-ed with yap and ah bee and this was followed by a strict "meat only" dinner with ah bee. hmmz.i really dunno wad to do tmr know. haha other than the fact i'm gymin in the morning. owellz...i wished i was workin..at least that keeps myself occupied.! ahah nvm..

some nice photos to cheer about.....

ANDREA's BIRTHDAY!!

.Me.Gavin.

.Class of 03S20.

.Pioneers.